wound

i thought i was strong and tough enough in treating my wound.

i thought that it was okay after a month after the cut.

i thought i was the one would be fine compared to others.

in fact..

I WAS TOTALLY WRONG!

i had used almost a year to fade off the feelings toward you.

i never thought i that i would be loving you and waiting you till now.

you used to embrace me whenever i need your coax.

but..

it will never happen at now or in future anymore.

i received your intention, you just felt guilty for leaving me.

everything was just my thought.

i thought you still love me.. it is not the truth..

that was why you never messaged me at night again.

you asked me to take care myself the last day you in penang and..

you meant it..

i should be let go of you..

you are not mine, never been mine..

you have your dream, your passions, and your own path to go on..

no one can stop you from leaving unless you decide to stay.

i'm not the girl that hold you from leaving, hope you found one who you would stay for her.

i will announce that, my love toward you will be ended at this second.

no more expectation and i will create my happiness myself.

perhaps, i will not fall for any guys again.

love is sustainable, but not on the same object eternally.

i will learn to love myself at first...

my wound has recovered.

my life is still great, i need just a bit more laughter.

:)

good luck my dear saw mey <3

i am becoming a qualified insurance agent

ALL THE BEST TO MY CAREER!

HOPE THAT MY DECISION IS RIGHT FOR ME :)

There is nothing that i could do

you are my first guy.

the first lad to hold my hand.

the first lad that embraced me in your arm.

the first man that i owned,

the first kiss i took from you.

the first...

i couldn't write out all the first time we did something together.

thre are too much i could spell them out.

you are the first man that left me away from you

but..

protected me from far.

how could i forget you?

perhaps,

you are not as perfect as i imagined in my mind.

i'm just missing the days we had..

too much..

i understand.

we had came to the end.

what i thought is never a reality.

i need love

but nothing i can do.

you left me away..

i thought i would live better than you.

but

i'm wrong..

you are more attractive than ever when i met you.

i wish..

someday,

you'll realise,

i'm your shen jia yi forever..

Enjoy

Today I have done some incredible things today.. I am so proud with myself. I feel that I'm pretty and special:) I shake hand with singers in station one just because I bet with my bro.. Haha..

Just feel to write out something..

After I worked at bee Cheng Hiang, I had built up my confidence. I feel that I'm pretty just my personality is a bit cool. Hehe.. And still I'm a girl tat cry easily when facing hardship. On the last day of work, our cash in draw was less than our record. This I was so frustrated because I was one of the cashier. I needed to write the sales report and I could not get the calculation right and no one bothered about my situation. I was panic because my brother was just outside waiting me while the time already 9pm. I should be eating reunion dinner that time, so I was filled of frustration. So I shouted loud that I didn't want to do anymore I wanted to leave! Then all ppl got shock and quickly helped me and let me left earlier. Friends there treated mee so well and even gave me hugged and coaxed me down. I loved them a lot. :)

Besides that, I figured out something's different between girls from different school. Different thinking and behaviors. I had new experiences and I enjoyed it:)

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

I miss you.. Take care:))

This is how I feel :)

I want a hug and a kiss on my forehead. I want you to love me. The only woman after your family. I wish to keep long hair, to be independent, pretty and attractive. I wish to live nearby you in kl, so that I'm near to you. Embrace me with your sincerity, kindness, loves and care. I have crushed too hard on you, please never dump me unless u have found your forever love. I miss you, tell me you miss me too.. Because of you, I realize that I like stitch. And because of this, I'll never forget you.. Hope you see this. All the best! ;)

stpm fight

since my bro took away his laptop from penang, i did not blog anymore, until today=)
lots of things happened during this period of time, things i never expected to happen.
my grandmother passed away, my cousin get married, my sister became plum and etc.
my friends fallen in love with each other, they were superb!
finally, i had to end my form 6 life.
i wished to study pharmacy, i hoped i could grab my dream to realistic^^

honestly, i admit that i was the type of people who could easily fall for someone during last time. i thought i should be same right now. but.. perhaps i did not understand myself well.. i find it hard for me to have a crush on somebody else than him.
after i break up with him, i found out that my heart was occupied, by him.
i didn't want him to know because i knew it was impossible for us to get together again.
he might still treasure me much, i knew. but i knew, we didn't suit for each other. anyway.. i will try to get in love with somebody else. get my passion back.

i'm not sure that how my results will be, i wish all the best for myself^^

很能形容我的感觉

他們猜我們後來有沒有再見
離席了才會曉得懷念
突然我記起你的臉　那觸動依然像昨天
對自己　我終於也　誠實了一點

是不是回憶就是淡淡檸檬草
心酸裡又有芳香的味道
曾以為你是全世界　但那天已經好遙遠
繞一圈　我才發現我有更遠地平線

畢竟用盡了力氣也未必如願
總是要過去以後才了解
突然我記起你的臉　愛不愛不過一念之間
繞一圈　今天的我能和昨天面對面

我們都沒錯　只是不適合
親愛的　我當時不懂得
選擇是我的　不是你給的　明天自己負責

給昨天的我一個擁抱
若我們再見我會微笑
謝謝你　我嚐過　愛的好
我要的我現在在才懂得
選擇是我的　不是你給的
幸福要自己負責　錯過的　就算了

break up

at last, we failed in this relationship. we ended this up peacefully and perfectly in the way i needed. i knew it won't last since the day you refused to deliver me a kiss. i knew. i was not the precious you love anymore. this ending relieved me even more than i thought. stitch, the feeling of loving you was still that fresh in my soul. it was just that you not feeling the same as i did anymore. instead of saying that you gave me back my freedom, i was fed up with you. the way you treated me after last year's oct was sucks! i tried my best to fit in the way you wanted. i lost myself. i was not going to hate you, because i was not that sad after a sleep this morning.
like what 'big momma' taught me.
'rather be alone for the rest of life than stay with the guy that not suitable for us for a minute.'
thx for let off me. never treat your future lady in the way you end off with me.

anyway, out of expect that i feel happy whenever i thought of you all the day. the bad has been forgotten. all in my mind was the sweet memories you gave me. i smile when the moment i thought of you when i woke up. i tore the pic i sticked on my phone last time and i kept it in my 'treasure box'.

you gave me the happy memories. thanks for that. i hope that you would not feel guilty and good luck on your coming exams and hardships. finally,don't worry of me, i'm super strong.. i'm perfectly fine. c?

so take care too ya..lin aun^^

blogwalkers

there has been a few blogwalkers visited my blog. some of them i do not know who are they and where they come from. at first, i thought of lock up my blogs.. but at the end, i think it is okay.

say 'hello' to you all..
this site is a site where i fit a lot of stuffs. it can be interesting or boring.
just happy that you passing by to take a look.
welcome^^

cant be titled

there is a conflict in my mind now. i'm telling lies frequently. i want to stop to be a liar. while reading through the passages on japan's earthquake and tsunami, i can't feel my sympathies to them. have i changed to be such cold-blooded? what i be is not what i want. what makes me interested on reading the news is the process of tsunami and how they suffer.

lying, it is a common habit that can be found on me. just ask any friends around me, none of them escape from my cheats. especially my dear. is it lying a phase of mind development? i'm struggling, it's hard for me. it is a secret that i want you all to know. i'm not a kind person that you thought.

it is better if cellphone is never be created. there is no particular waiting on call and text. writing a letter, how much of people can do for others? conveniency has replaced the romance. isn't that heartful to receive letters from family, friends and lover?

skill to communicate.. it's good if i can master it one day later. first to do, not to tease friends.
i must learn to praise with a good observation.

well.. just to express myself..