I got so damn tired

As usually, I am suffocated with tonnes of assignments and yet, I start to hate university life. 

Being a freshy in university is a hard deal. 

I never expect assignments do really make someone cry, not now anymore.

We will get to know with people with different thought and personalities.

They can be nice but not in the way you feel comfortable to be.

2hours ago I was still stuck in the lousy bus stop near to library.

I never had been that late in library before, and i never felt it cool.

I hated the UMS bus services! 

I got so disappointed today..

I had been waited for the buses for an hour and I had to watch it drove down the hill,

passed off me cruelly.

I told myself,

never stay late in library anymore.

I would never trust in UMS buses AGAIN!

Something cheered me up for today was my past spanish quiz.

I got 8.8 out of 10.

I even got all my subjective questions correct!

How impressive? xD

Now that was cool :D

Sometimes, I felt our gaps were getting further even we were closed to each other.

I could not hear the true voice from you, hardly.

You were used to keep secret from me and refused me from your heart.

I could listen to what you said and what you bull shit but seldom a real feelings from you.

Sometimes,

I felt sad for it.

We knew each other the longest period,

but, 

we were not the one who understood each other well.

Actually,

I feel to cry at the moment I launch my buttock to my chair.

No one is tapping on my shoulder,

telling me that i'll be fine. TT

I don't feel good this time,

all I want is to leave this bull shit place!

I am so stressed out with my undone assignments.

Discussion never ends and i can never relieve my breath.

I am busy and i start to let go. 

I'm tired.

Whatever happen, I don't want care already!

Well, 

I am going to join online contest soon. 

Just wish me good luck! >.<

Feel better express out here.

Blogging is my best stress remover~

Gambatae! Saw Mey <3 p="p">

nov wish

I had tried to find a guy to be admired in Sabah, but thhere was no one reached my expectation. I did not need a handsome guy, i was just searching a potential guy. but i couldn't see anyone with this ability. I don't want a guy that stay numb whenever he sees me need help but doesn't lend me his hand. I hope that we will have the common interest in something, maybe playing puzzles together. why you are so hard to find? I already very boring. I hope you appears soon to enlighten my life :) All the best!!

not in mood

im going to have my first mid term exam in ums today, but i give up. i don't even want to fight for it at the last minutte. i wish that i will never here. all my hardwork in my form 6 is only deserved rm90. i don't know why i got so upset. Especiay Mei Xue ignored me sometimes. Perhaps i am too moody today, i feel pur distance.

Return to the SIMPLE

Well, first of all, i am here to reannounce my status. 

I am single yet I survive! Haha :)

At least no one could agitate me by easily,

I can pretend to be calm and cool. Haha! xD

Secondly, do you realise that my blog's template becomes so kiddy??

Yes! I purposely make it to something simple but symbolises things usually in my mind.

Childhood. Yeah~

Even I don't have a wonderful one, I have my lovely memories staying beside my mom :D

Actually, I skipped a chance to apply jpa scholarship which i had a high probability to get it.

Everything just caused by my laziness and procrastination.

And now,

I deserved the punishment.

No one reprimanded me, yet i felt myself not aggressive to chase for what i worth. 

However, 

time had passed, 

no way return, so i just had to rebuild my mind and be grateful again.

Pace forward, not to cry over the same thing and never do the same mistake again!

SMILE=D  

Today I went out with my Titas group members to Emmanual Church,

it was all basically to do my assignment.

The church was well-equiped with modern electrical goods and musical instruments,

which i found it fresh for me,

because there was no Jesus the Christ statue or something i used to imagine for ancient church.

Haha..

Well, at least, I had learnt something, 

church meant people.

We sang a lot of christianity songs and shaked a lot of people's hand.

It did remind me of 'Multi-level Marketing' meetings in either Amway or Great Eastern. Haha.

At first, I was so reluctant to their passion and to follow what they did. 

ps: like lifting hands to reach the God and say the words "it is you Jesus" or "i love you Lord"

Perhaps i was used to buddhism and i believe in the taught of Buddha, I was not enough liberal yet. :(

Anyway, it was a nice try. 

They created a place which gather all the genius and passionate people.

The spirits were there with them always. :)

So back to the mission--

We interviewed one of the pastor and he answered to us with informative points.

I guess we really did a good job today. :)

We video cam during the session and we might look nervous and blank in the middle.

But we succeeded, well done for us already.

After that, we went to restaurant 527 near King Fisher there to lunch.

Not bad :D

Well, I hope i look cheerful for my friends over Sabah. I want to build up a new image for myself.

and i do always able to keep my emotion coaxed here :)

i have changed a lot and i am happier now even i get down by the assignments here :) haha..

But i only believe, my grandpa and grandma will bless for me far away from me.

and there is nothing should get me down :) i will love and enjoy what i have here.

Move forward, i will find my happiness there, throughout the journey.

Yeah~~

Saw Mey, a girl living in netherland :)

Finally i know how it feels

Last time, i used to be insecured. So i liked to text my ex and get stuck on him. Perhaps inmature was the reason i acted so. On the first 3months he went to KL, i was so afraid of losing him so i requested to stay connected through texting with him. I never viewed from his position. When we get to a new environment, everything got terrible . What was i minded that time were all why he did not put me as ultimately important? Now i was in a new environment, i knew the difficulty he faced before and i was not his best listener. No one could help him because he was alone. He pretende to be fine and escaped from all my curiosity towards him. Now i was here, sabah. A place that my family and close friends never reached here for me. I had to get my stuff ready and meals settled on my own. No transport and backup. Sometimes, i would feel helpless, because everyone was busy, seldom had time to entertain me :(. I did not havr boyfriend to care for what food i had for my lunch or dinner, who made ne angry or sad today. Luckily, my friends called me when she missed me and shared her situation with me. My family supported me and loved me like treasure.. I was lucky and i think boyfriend cpuld be not a part of my university life. I would survive! Yeah! less than 100days already xD Kah yao!!

Do you know

Do you know why I seldom close the texting conversation? Or why I prefer to ignore your messages? Because of a simple reason.. I dont wish to be ignored or waiting for a person to reply. I hate to wait because it hurts me a lot :( So i rather to be the cooler one :).

there is no wrong for being yourself

i have friends that are charming and attrast boys after them. I am one of not their same zone. I am a typical tradition girl who always stay on my own position. I don't fight for take initiative over a guy. I can ne said shy or inattractive. Anyway, i don't feel like to someone that not really me. i cant simply fb or sms a boy for fun. im jut not born to have that talent or interest. i love how im looked and how im being right npw. maybe it's hard for you to see that im shinning. i font care! even you say that i look like a vase, well, it is still me,special. i will not harden or totally change myself to others just to attract guys.. i want a boy that know that i can take care well of him and he loves me and willing to protect me and appreciate me till we die. i just need one. now, im searching for that guy, i hope you find me soon. :)

my starting in sabah

everytime when i looked at my friends' blogs, some ideas would just pass by my mind. i should attach more info and photos inside my blog. but then when i felt like to blog, i lost the mood to pick photos from my handphone. by that time i just told myself, 'hey, why not take it easy, it's just a space where i express all my feelings.' even now, i won't have the typical mood to change my layout or upload any photo. maybe, this is me. i do not need other to spot on my life through a website. just give me a call or sms me, i gurantee, i will reply you as soon as i can. not like last time :) now i love cht-chating. it makes my world filled with love and warmness :) and yea~ i was so surprised that i did my ptptn application before 15th of august. i just thought i missed the first batch. and now i was approved, i was just waiting for money to come~ hahahaha~ love it! although i was quite quiet in my room, my room mates were all so lovely. and for sure my room was a satu malaysia room. one chinese, sabahan, selangor malay and a murut chinese mix. the latter was so pretty but i found her loved to do things at the eleventh hour. i got my ptptn approved today while she was just applying==. and she was complaining to sleep. cool yea? my house was nicely decorated by the malays. you know, sometimes chinese are just too ego. we always thought that they were dirty and lazy, but now.. i felt shame on us. they had cleaned the toilet and shopped for sharing items themself. they shared with us and not asking for what. i was glad to be in this room. although it was hot andfull of mosquito. actually, i was admiring someone recently. he was not very handsome, not tall, not really great in academic but he was kind and nice. i was attracted to his personalities. though i knew his care was mainly because that his friends asked to, i like him :) he treated everyone of us so nice and heartful, i would never met someone like him. i knew, he would be a very nice guy.. a protective man :) so i just having secret admiration toward him. never let him to know. i just wan to make friend with him :) good luck ya! good boy.. hehe.. hope you wont know till the end of sabah days :)girls.. keep secret for me ha..:) haha.. take care everyone~ i'm amanda<3

any thing

today was free. we just had to choose our courses and register online. i finished it as fast as i could. i had registerd for spanish class. my ordinary plan iwas japanese, but i did not fit in the quota. quite sad for that. anyway, everything went smooth and i had a nice day. :) i chose lawan pedang for my kokum. i hoped that it wont disappoint me as i just could make a choice. :) beginning from now. i will try not to write out the sad part or incident happened on me.. emotionally :l) be happy n sweet :) actually, i like how u being right now. everything is simple and happy go lucky. it is nice to be ur friend :) i never realize that. i appreciate on all the helps u gave to us. finally, thanks tiara too :) i will try to become more hyperactive :) all the best to myself. i dont really think that i can find a bf here. maybe i was having skintone discrimination or technically speaking skil problem.. i preffer semenanjung guy. sometimes. i will envy those who is having boyf. at least, a call give 安全感。 when can i meet u? :) hope u appear soon..

short short report

i was having my biggest turning point of my 20yrs.. i had registered for university malaysia sabah, and now, i was a real mahasiswa already. first to talk abt the hostel.. hot n dirty.. i was lucky, because i had chose the most nice 2in1 study desk. i had hard days in sabah and i went through it day by day :) we had to compete for the bus ride, wash our own clothes and face the unexpectable incidents. i think i was bravo :) quite tired to write out al the things happened within these few days. wait i finish my orientation week first :) i started to acknowledge of a boy.. had a little crush on her :) i hope u wont mind, im just respecting and admire you :) btw, all the best to us.. all my friends and i., i love you!