Showhouse day

Today i woke up at 12pm and i departed with my family to balik pulau at 1pm. We were planned to have a look at the showhouse there. We planned to move in a landed house. So my brother searched up and down. Finally he got an invitation to the showhouse there. Fully furnished with reasonable price. We all loved the environment just hoped to reduce a bit the pricing. I loved the design and i felt so much hopes in this house. Yes. It is a dream house. Hope that we will be blessed to get a better living environment for the sake of my parents. Sukhihontu~ saddhu saddhu saddhu.

Ps. Tmr is the result releasing date. I just remembered it this evening. My heart is pounding in abnormal heartbeat. Face it, accept it, deal with it and let it go. All the best :)

单身情人节

在忙碌中，我结束了这一天。

回到家中打开电脑

看到许多幸福的情侣上传了各自的幸福事迹。

而我，

却好像在票选最佳情侣般

不停的在给他们按赞（投下一票）

哈哈。。

其实，每一个爱情故事都有欢笑有泪水。

懂得珍惜的坚持的，就能走过好多个年华。

当中也有许多单身男女在此刻感慨寂寞，但我却阅而不赞。

原因是单身也是受祝福的，不须特别有人疼才幸福呀！

今天我和我亲爱的学生们玩乐了大半天，好幸福，好感恩。

被学生唤着“老师，老师。”还挺不错的。

或许这学习教学的一年让我拥有了不一样的追求。

觉得这种被需要远远比爱人缠绵来得更充实。

祝福全天下的人幸福平安，单身双身都快乐。

感恩今天还活着 :)

走了

今天她走了

她是一位很棒的母亲

很和蔼的老人家

她虽与我无血缘之亲

但她的体贴和用心总让人感觉像奶奶

总是担心我们吃不饱

用不好。

凌晨五点钟

病发、呻吟却无人闻之

就这样突然

之前还好好的，

健健康康

又说有笑的

现在，却没了。

说实话，我害怕。

因为我母亲与她年纪相仿。

突然觉得我母亲老了。

我不敢想像没有她的日子。

我怕了。在我这个年纪。

事物交替更换，太突然，太意外。

这个年纪，我想学会珍惜拥有的。

您走了，我十分感恩您对我妈、我哥和我的照顾和用心。愿你一路走好。安息吧。

Being a part time tutor

It had been a year plus since i started to be a tutor for charity. I remembered when i said i never wanted to become a teacher in my life. I felt that it would be an obstacle that i would never cross over. Now, the idea changed. I love playing the teacher's role. To pass knowledge and build a person's ability. It is so amazing that although my students seldom show appreciation to our efforts, their performance speak much more gratitution to me. I was used to be inconfident with my speech back then, but now, even im stuttering i believe that my speech somehow contains points. I love the internal transformation of myself. Even i spoke in the camp using english, i felt comfortable. Will work harder in sharpening my speech ability. Im blessed. Contented with wisdom. Saddhu saddhu saddhu.

Buddha said: dont look on the pass but work on current life. It is how you will shape your future.

My 23rd birthday

This is the first time i celebrated by staying at home whole day long. Actually it isn't any celebration but i acknowledge that a birthday should be spent with family especially mom. 

I helped my mom to make kuih kapit by making up fire using charcoal, flipping the tools, folding the kuih kapit and finished them at 5.30pm. I felt changes on me, i never put my parents' need so significant back then.

Even the small incident happened yesterday night was incredibly not my style. To be honest, i was not really hold on to my assumed appreciation to someone. The person was shocked and feeling weird receiving "confession" from me. However i enjoyed the conversation, i had never been so fine before.

Now, it is time to end my birthday. I wish i will be blessed and be a better person in life. In search of peaceful and happiness. Saddhu saddhu saddhu...

Back from dhamma camp

This was the first time i joined an english based dhamma camp.

Although it was hard for me to pick up at the beginning, it did leave great inspiration on me.

The past, what I learnt were theory
Now,
I might relate it in my daily life.
I start to recognise.

At the sense that when I know how the life works,

I feel no more fear.

Right understand how impermanence works and how should i deal with it.

The thing is that the things are not scary or abnormal,

it is just how our thought create the fear.

After getting through this camp,

I was like awakened from some problems that troubled me for so long.

I felt relieved, calm and peaceful.

Then I was passionate to get back home and share to my parents.

The sentence I like the most throughout this camp was

"How people treat you is their karma, how you respond is your karma"

Perhaps it sounds heavy or urging but it did make me think and think deeply in my mind.

So when I get back home tonight, 

I was trying the right time to talk to my parents.

You know,

sometimes we do things without knowing why we are doing.

I asked my parents:

"what is buddhism to you?"

Surprising that my dad questioned me back "what is religion?"

it made me realise that,

We might spend half of our lifetime serving or doing without having right understanding and intention. It's sarcastic.

So I continued to share my experience and my thoughts throughout the camp.

I started something I never tried with my parents before.

Sharing.

It is a wonderful thing to share, 

but most of the time we tend to ignore it.

This was also the first time I astonished my mom.

I really hope that my parent would really start a nice improvement with me.

We can grow together and feel peaceful, harmless and happiness.

May us never be separated from the Buddha's teaching and live wisefully.

Sadhu sadhu sadhu.

The first ever peaceful mind I ever had. :)

I'm blessed.

Course arrangement

A week ago, I found out that there were changes regarding the courses offered in coming semesters.

So I tried to number and rearrange the courses left to be taken.

Surprisingly, I managed to squeeze them into 2 semesters perfectly.

The only pity is that I might not take FYP so that I can passed all my majors as planned.

Sincerely hope that the time table doesn't clash so that I could graduate a semester earlier.

Pray ~

Oh ya.. I applied for aerobics as my ko-k next semester. 

I hope everything will be going smooth.

Pray hardddddd~~~~

Looking forward, great!

Finally, I have came so far.
It was the 5th semester for my university life.
Although I am paper-written as 2nd year student,
I always concern that I am much more better than that.
And yet, finally, it is the time for me to send my CV and resume.
Looking at my transcript,
I am feeling "Oh my god! What the hell with my result?"
The grade Cucumber credits for physical chemistry making itself too obvious on my paper.
Haha..
Anyway, while looking at my activity achievement,
I feel much more comfortable.
At least, I didn't spend my university life wastefully.
Completed 3 CV and resumes to be sent out this coming Monday.
Feeling excited.
Can I feel some luck from you? haha :D

Ended my 3rd semester in USM.
Feeling 10 years living here.
reason? simple.
I have much more responsibilities to bear on my shoulders and you know time pass slowest when the hard time is haunting.
After year by year,
money is still controlling my mind.
There is non a minute I am not thinking to earn it.
Haha..
Money slave. Sad case.
However, I could spend it my way now.
Feeling proud earning during school life.
this is how i feel i'm different from others.
the small satisfaction that is so precious to me :D

In this 5years,
I had joined events by direct sales, insurance, forex and even money game company.
However,
non of it I made a first step to create my own 'business'.
I know many of you feel lousy on my explanation.
The fact is: I'm not feeling good in introducing products and set up a complicated  social network.
If someone asks me about my expectation on my future career,
I would prefer to stay in my own working area, doing my own things.
sometimes I can present my work to others.
this match what I could get from continuing in laboratory work.
Exclude from the head-spinning relationship and doing my favourite works :)
Afraid to take risk.
Being a non-profitable person to a family was already a headache,
why creates problem?
maybe i would not be like very rich and live in luxury in future.
i chose my path and at least i wont die because of poverty.
Back then i'm not sure, but now i'm clear,
because i find to be more understanding myself.
And i love myself more nowadays. <3 p="">
Finally, I hope my application would be taken care of. Y(^.^)Y
All the best yo!!

Grilled life

So ya, i wanna post a new article about myself. I had started a part time job as a tuition teacher since last month. I was nervous to death during the first week. However everything just turned up getting smoother that i would ever imagine. Honestly, this experience just made me so against to have my own child in future. To deliver, to raise, to care and ensure their future is a long and stony journey. I prefer to play with my siblings' children (i really wish them to have xD) i saw some of the tuitors being so tame to their students while the other so strict to them. I think im just betwen the two lines. I hope i would be the latter one. 

So as work being added to my uni life, i have conflict dealing with my academics and money. Haha.. However, i just think it as a good training to undergo what others don't. My background doesn't support me with strong financial status, so i decided to make my own. Sadly, my academics wasn't excellent to qualify me any scholarship, so i had to stay upstill. My brother has once criticised me for being a burden for my family. I cried so hard and it really motivated me to keep moving on nowadays. Never regret for doing mistakes, just care what to make a better solution.  

Last friday, i attended dharma class. I shared about a core lesson i learnt from the class, which is the right intention. Knowing why you are taking the decision and always keep in mind why you started it. Being a buddhist is not only believing it but be living it. Learning the buddha taught and practise in life. Buddhist is not just offering to buddha or sangha and you all will be bless. This is what we often misunderstand. Many of us address ourselves as a buddhist because we are chinese. The main purpose we offer buddha is to remind us to his teaching but not acquire his blessing. Buddha is not magic. He doesn't create or destroy, he found the truth. The truth that i always want to realise myself. 

Lastly, i found a junior who has the same style as lin aun. He made me remember all those forgotten memories just in an eye contact. I realise that i have never forget those and will never be forgotten. However, i know i really could control my mind now. Knowing that impermanent is the only permanent thing in this world. I thought i wouldn't live for single once ago, but now, i would prefer to stay single and spend on my earned money. To travel to stay or to leave only depend on my own. My mind is changing and i don't know how would i end, but sure it won't be regretted again. 

Once again, lastly, all the best :) be happy

My hair finally grows at satisfactory length. :)

Plan B

It doesn't work in the way i thought. However, i am feeling normal to it. Perhaps, i have already prepared for the result, so i am like immune to the happening. However, it doesn't put off my motivation to go further. Perhaps, it just not now. I wish to have a vacation, somewhere out of this country in recent. Which i prefer to call plan B. :) . Working on saving and earning at this moment. Different experience im gainning, thumbs up for me :)

Few days ago, a form6 teacher inbox me. Honestly, it was a bit surprise for me. Something great was making to my deep consideration. I really wonder how would i think of my university life when i was old or just maybe into the work. I wish that it will be something i was proud and was going to brag about. Grow strong and be loved. Blessing the best for myself. 

All the best for all. :)