Tuesday, January 21, 2014

素媚,你在做什么?

         “素媚,你在做什么?”基本上,这句话只会被两种人套用。第一种,是真的想知道我在做什么,而另一种则是用在责问我的语气。当然,后者的使用率居多。“素媚,你又再做麽了?”最近的我迷糊得很,最严重的一次是前天我驾车忘了打方向灯,导致随后的摩托车差点翻覆。除此之外,也试过多算顾客百多令吉,离谱的是,事情是在一个星期后,才由我的上司发现。这可能是因为我太累还是快衰老了吗?我不能断定,只能想办法亡羊补牢。就算于事无补,也至少能让自己的罪恶感减低。
         话说回第一种问候,我就老实点承认最近的自己有一点桃花。,不多,就少许。起因是因为在家闲着没事就给自己拍了好几张高角度大头照,然后上载到面子书。原本宽阔的下颚变得跟美人儿一样(夸张修辞),此时网上就出现了好几个“陌生”朋友的关心。常常慰问近况,不然就是想约我见面。当然,我还不至于那么随便,我也知道我不可以在网上骗“单纯”的网友们,所以就婉转的拒绝了。当然,故事写到这,你必然觉得我本人有一点自恋,一点发骚,异常地好上钩。如果,真的自爱,坚定,就直接好了嘛,还婉转个什?唉,寂寞的单身女人,不这样找乐子,哪儿来的有趣呢?呵呵~放心,我会适可而止,不会太天真,太傻。只是偶尔会渴望有一个真心关心我的男人,为我买早餐。当然,条件是,必须是我心仪的男士,这样才能办到让我尝到幸福的味道。但回头想想,自己对人的用心和关怀都很少,要人家对我特好,那可是难事一桩。我不强求了,事情看开了,无论做什么事,都会很开心。
         我这三年来最值得让我自豪的是我学会给自己打气。这让我遇到难过的事都可以很容易再站起来。当我要生朋友的气的时候,我能做到忍让和放下。我很开心,因为我能接受责骂。所以,当你在问起我在做到什么的时候,我会告诉自己我在做着更好的自己。面对大家,我不需要怕,因为就算被你骂,我也会学习到其中的精华。谢谢我所有的过路人,我感恩。能接受自己的不完美,是你们教我的,学着改变也是你们的帮助。但愿,你们幸福快乐平安。 J

Thursday, January 2, 2014

To him

I know you try your best to stay beside me when I'm emotionally down. Frankly, I am reluctant to waste your effort, you are a good man, but I'm not ready to have you. Perhaps, it has been something important that is missing between us. I tried to let you to get in my world, but then I realise we will never be in the same world. I want to let you know but I don't know how to get it started. Don't treat me good, I feel sorry for you, but being friend with you is a great thing in my life. Hmm.. just give me some time to tell you.

consequences of procrastination

Today was the second subject for my first year first semester. Analytical Chemistry. It was known to be the killer subject, regarding to our seniors. Since the last subject, which was Calculus, i felt like to bang my head on wall and roll my body down the hill. (just to release my frustration ) Everyone seemed to grade the final exam as easy as drinking water. However I got stuck in doing the exam. I was beaten. Today, this exam wasn't an easy one, for sure I couldn't excel as to relate to my title. I gave up on my paper 2 and I might not get above 25 per 50. How was I going to pass this paper? I wondered. Since the day I stepped on USM, I was getting stressed. In every test that was going on in USM, I would be nervous, and sometimes, I even couldn't sleep. Even the assignment was not an easy task. For me, these were not the bad part, the bad thing was there wasn't bell-shaped examination grading. There might be possibility to fail if I did not do well in final. I thought I was that kind of brilliant person, indeed, i was so discrete like a sand among my coursemates. My result was nothing if to compare with their flying colour results. I knew results were not a guideline to decide one's success anymore, but I did not discover my advantageous field besides of studying. What should I do to improve myself? I'm currently phobia to go for examination. It had became a nightmare. And yet, I was procrastinating my time on blogging. I should prepare for my next subject, gambatae neh~~~

You are still my best listener~~~~ :) energy boost up!!

Saturday, November 16, 2013

facebook

login facebook has became one of the daily routine for the people nowadays. i used to be addicted to facebook, especially updating status. however, since i stepped on usm life, is became more concern of on the intention i give to others through status updates. it is very important to not spread out too much negative thoughts. i am learning to send out positive minds and encouraging myself to be more mature in sharing news. never post too much privacy in facebook, there is too much strangers and competitors to see how you fool your life. sometimes, i feel myself are getting lost and i have no place to lean on. facebook has to be forgotten as a place to release emotion. i wish someone do really talk in person with me instead f telling the whole world that im in trouble. i really want to hold your hand but im so scared to be hurt again. it doesnt feel the same like before, having puppy love but it feels like to be long term relationship. im not ready and yet i dont want to miss you. i want to try. listen to me and not to know me from facebook. it is all i want now.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

indecisive

Well, I seldom share my personal update to friends recently. So it is better for me to write them here as some of my friends will look up from here. This mid sem break, I get my full rest and did nothing great seriously. haha. I went to Ipoh and stay a night at her house. I was seriously fond to observe her gor gor. I had never met such a big fat dog in my life. Moreover, it was an stray dog before my friend's family adopted it.
Ok, let's begin with my main point. I had been hanging out frequently with Jason in these few weeks. This included lunch, dinner, supper and movie. I didn't have a proper reason to explain my action. I just did what my heart told me to. I thought he would never start up the topic, but it happened yesterday. I accompanied him to shop in Tesco. After that, he helped me to install Microsoft to my laptop in his car. He hold my hand suddenly and asked me whether want to take care of him. I went blanked and couldn't react. I replied 'no' with laughter. He let off my hand and continued with the installation. The second time was when he suddenly interlocking our fingers and asked me to become his girlfriend. Frankly, I was vacillated, I couldn't reject nor accept. It had been too fast for me but yet he was nice for me. So i replied to give me some times and we remained the same.
i'm sure my friends will think what i've done are absurdity, i feel the same too honestly, I will just give myself some time to understand more about him. never be too impetuous even i'm hesitated. Wish me all the best :)

Friday, September 27, 2013

My New Experience

Honestly, being fitted in USM gives me some pressure. Perhaps, I used to spend my life alone without feeling any awkwardness. Now I am situated in a new environment, watching my close friend mixing well with the others, while I always keep on distance. Sometimes, I feel like a looser, but at last I tell myself, I have my own thought, I can't just follow what others always think of. everyone will never be the same. I don't have to force myself to be something I feel uncomfortable with. At least I can work and socialize with others, i'm not a weirdo.

Recently, actually it is not suitable to named it as recently. Umm.. Maybe for the past few months? I have been chatting with a guy from wechat. His name is Jason, 25yrs old. We keep connected by only texting but not showing any voice nor photos. We can talk anything and can reply anytime we want and never blame or sorry for any late replies. I never see his face from album and i thought he may look fat and clumsy. Then we finally dated each other for a dinner.

I was damn shocked when i first met him in front of the gsc cinema. He wasn't tall but he was good looking. Perhaps, I like sporty thin guys. He was a sport lover, he looked totally out of my imagination. He used to talk gently and like to observe people's personalities. Our first dinner was in Sushi Tei. Imagine. I was dined with a stranger I had never met before. I felt like went for some ancient blind date. Just kidding. He gave me good impression. He paid the bill around RM90 for the dinner. Hmm.. Generous? I just enjoyed the date. A special friend who I knew this way.

Now we are still in contact. I like the way we connected. I can tell him my thoughts and never expect him to answer as what my close friends do. We don't even have each others' Facebook. We never say thing crossing over the line. He is a very innocent guy even he is 4yrs older than me, but yet he is matured in thinking. We never discuss relationship topics, but just being all-talk friend. Super comfortable. Hard to find someone like this. This Sunday we are going to watch 'The Flu'. Anticipate for the day :)
Long live 'stranger friend' like this. haha :)

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

New Updates on My University Life

It has been almost a month I was entitled as an USM student. Seriously, being an APEX student is different. People don't like to make comparison, but I do, always. There are definitely many things different from UMS. First to mention is the scale of the universities. USM has spent or I might call invest a huge modals in sustaining the honorary of being qualified as the first and the only APEX university in Malaysia. Not going on so details, but I have lost inside campus for a couple of times. I have to imagine a way to reach a destination. Unlike in UMS, the buildings are clearly stated and not confusing. To reach a destination, a bus can bring us all over the places in UMS. However, the best thing about USM is the bus service. it is more punctual and systematic.

The second to mention is about the convenience of getting products and services. Least to mention about the bustling in Penang, shopping complexes and grocery shops are easy to reach. Inside campus of USM, they provided chances for their students to start business. Most of the stalls and printing services are handled by USM students. That is what makes USM different from just producing graduates. Facilities in both hostel and public places are really conducive for the students to carry out daily life and studies. Especially the library. I used to stay at the library to complete my assignments as the computers and internets are provided. Oh ya, not to forget about the wifi. USM has the greatest wifi service. I guess. We have internet connection wherever in our campus and hostels. It is very wonderful and convenient for us.

So, I stop it here first, to be continue next time when i'm free from assignments :) Glad to be here :D


有一点长但有意思

(1)學會沉默
有時候,不是所有的人都得了解你,因此你不必對全世界喊話。畢竟不是所有的是非都能條列清楚,甚至可能根本沒有真正的是與非。那麼,不想說話,就不說吧,在多說無益的時候,也許沉默就是最好的解釋。

(2)至少平靜   
在你跌入人生谷底的時候,你身旁所有的人都告訴你:要堅強,而且要快樂。堅強是絕對需要的,但是快樂? 畢竟,誰能在跌得頭破血流的時候還覺得高興?但是至少可以做到平靜。平靜地看待這件事,平靜地把其他該處理的事處理好。平靜,沒有快樂,也沒有不快樂。
   
(3)學會彎腰 這會是我意外的收獲   
和別人發生意見上的紛歧,甚造成言語上的衝突,所以悶悶不樂。別再耿耿於懷了,回家去擦地板吧。拎一塊抹布,彎下腰,雙膝著地,把你面前這張地板的每個角落來回擦拭干淨。然後重新省思自己在那場衝突,所說過的每一句話。有時候你必須學習彎腰,因為這個動作可以讓你謙卑。勞動身體的同時,你也擦亮了自己的心緒。

(4)不要想 如果 當初   
你說,人生是一條有無限多岔口的長路,永遠在不停地做選擇。如果只是選擇吃炒面或炒飯,影響似乎不大,但選擇讀什麼科系、做什麼工作、結婚或不結婚、要不要有孩子,每一個選擇都影響深遠,而不同的選擇也必定造就完全不一樣的人生。你又說,生命中不可承受之情,就在於人生沒有重來的機會啊。如果當初如何如何,現在就不會怎樣怎樣…這種充滿悵然的喃喃自語,還是別再多說了吧。每一個岔口的選擇其實沒有真正的好與壞,只要把人生看成是自己。獨一無二的創作,就不會頻頻回首如果當初做了不一樣的選擇。
  
(5)努力吧 不管成功與否 至少曾經美麗   
漫步林間,你看見一株藤蔓附著樹干,柔軟與堅實相互交纏,你感動於這靜美的一幕。讓幸福與歸屬就此駐足吧。你想。不知未來會有怎樣一番風雨摧折?也許藤將斷、樹會倒,也許天會荒,地將老。你又想。那麼,請時光停格在此刻吧。停格即是永恆。永恆裡若有這靜美的一刻,未來可能遭遇的種種劫難,便已得到了安慰與報償。 

(6)保持單純   
因為思慮過多,所以你常常把你的人生復雜化了。明明是活在現在,你卻總是念念不忘著過去,又憂心忡忡著未來;堅持攜帶著過去、未來與現在同行,你的人生當然只有一片拖泥帶水。單純地活在當下,而當下其實無所謂是非真假。既然沒有是非,就不必思慮;沒有真假,就無須念念不忘又憂心忡忡。無是非真假,就單純地把你的人生當成夢境去執行吧。   

(7)偶爾’俗氣’  
人生不需要把自己綁得那麼緊。偶爾的小小放縱,是道德的。靈氣充滿或許接近大人,但偶爾的俗氣會更平易近人。 

(8)控制情緒   
今天的你,是不開心的你,因為有人在言語間刺傷了你。你不喜歡吵架,所以你離開;可是你只是離開了那,卻沒有離開被那人傷害的情境,因此你愈想愈生氣。愈有氣,你就愈沒有力氣去理會別的事情,許多更該用心去做去想去處理的事件,就在你漫天漫地的心煩意亂之中,被輕忽被漠視被省略了。因為,你只是一心一意地在生氣。在情緒上做文章,這是對自己的浪費,而且是很壞的浪費。別讓情緒控制了你。
   
(9)抓住最好的時機 絕不錯過   
你曾經買了一件很喜歡的衣裳卻舍不得穿,鄭重地供奉在衣櫃裡;許久之後,當你再看見它的時候,卻發現它已經過時了。所以,你就這樣與它錯過了。沒有在最喜歡的時候上身的衣裳,沒有在最可口的時候品嘗的蛋糕,就像沒有在最想做的時候去做的事情,都是遺憾。生命也有保存期限,想做的事該趁早去做。如果你只是把你的心願鄭重地供奉在心裡,卻未曾去實行,那麼唯一的結果,就是與它錯過。 

(10)偶爾的出離軌道   
某次你搭火車打算到A地去,中途卻忽然臨時起意在B地下了車。也許是別致的地名吸引了你,也許是偶然一瞥的風景觸動了你,總之,你就這樣改變了本來預定的行程,然後經歷了一場充滿驚奇的意外旅行。回憶起來,你說,那是一次令你難忘的出軌經驗。生命中的許多時候不也如此?心無旁騖地奔赴唯一的目的,不過是履行了原本的行程而已;離開預設的軌道,你才有機會發現其他的風景。   

(11)悄悄 悄悄地 回歸平靜..   
曾經有一段時間,你心情低落,甚至懶得拉開窗簾,看著窗外的陽光。因此你當然也忘了去看看,窗台上那一盆每天都需要喝水的瑪格麗特。如此不知過了多久,總算有一天,你度過了心情的低潮,同時也想起了你的瑪格麗特。天啊,可憐的花,她還活著嗎?你戰戰兢兢地拉開窗簾,卻見她迎風招搖,花顏可掬。原來在過去的這段日子裡,你雖然忘了喂她喝水,老天卻沒忘了以雨露眷顧她呢。許多事物悄悄地在你的視線之外進行,而且悄悄地安排好了它們自己。天生萬物,天養萬物,一切其實無須擔心……你只要做的就是做好自己,不留任何遺憾…足矣。

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

stay calm and smart

coming back to blog after a long time. i really think that like i never touch my blog for a decade. haha. well, to update my life, im currently undergoing trainning for insurance. great eastern life company. i have to attend night meeting on every monday. my favourite session of the meeting is speaking session. where i will be given chance tohold the microphone and speak out my idea. for the first time. i kept on mumbling and get blank. but the third time, i start to have idea on to give a opinion in front of public. the feelings is good. i like the stage even i am still a beginner level, i felt proud for myself. neither care for the results i would achieve, i would learn and transform a little bit. be brave and confident. hehe. kah yao o!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

what to do before starting new life in USM

1. get invited to every facebook group which would involve me in future.
2. read through every posts by seniors and students.
3. alert with the important items, such as to prepare what documents, where and when to hand up.
4. call up for different offices and departments when needed.
5. terminate ptptn. (download and send letter to ptptn department)
6. download all documents online and print all of them without a miss.
7. write a suspension letter to my current university
8. fill and certify all the documents needed.
9. wait for school to open :D
10. go to kemasukan department to settle my unit transfer.
11. begin life as usual USM-er :D