open my mind

i was having bad mood today. it happened within my new collegues and i.i was too eagered to make them improve, and i got my critics. i felt so hurt that she compplained about my performance. it was too bad for me. i think i should calm down my anxiety and my aggresiveness while teaching new collegue as i was a young leader. i should teach them with patient and calmness. well, it was a ggod experience as i knew my own flaw.never expect others will always accept our way. try to open my heart, accept the comments and improve myself more. never give up!

hello, i'm here to update myself again. :) 其实我在我工作地方的人缘蛮不错的。 有的赞我的笑容甜，有想保护我的感觉。呵呵…… 今天早上有顾客还要请我吃饭。我当然婉拒了呀！我可保守得很呢！ 然后一位缅甸外劳叫我iylin.形容我漂亮，美好！ 虽然我知道是因为外劳思春，但是我的确是满愉悦的。 伟良只做到这一个星期，有一些难过与忧心。 咳……不知道我之后的两个星期怎么过？ 还有我很得意的是我在这里认识了一位很可爱的马来同胞。名叫ena。 我很喜欢她。 我一定要和她拍照留念\^O^/ 最近的我暴饮暴食，肥了不知多少::>_<:: 我还放了金柳、翊卿她们的飞机。 健身当天睡不醒，还没有交代。 应该很生气我吧。。 我真的很糟糕。做不到就不要随口答应。我迟早有报应。。 羞耻中。 我变得很懒惰也。。或许是少了热情，我变得很散漫。。懒人！反省吧！

第一天

After I went through this half year, I was becoming even more new than ever. I could speak in English confidently, present myself in front of strangers. I did really enjoy every moment I did things on my own. In my house, I was able to spent my money for daily uses. In my working place, boss talked to me like someone can be trusted. I spent things on my Own. During my off day, I could drive car to hang around, buy some junk food and shirt whenever I want. :) Everything was simply simPle :) This past six months had returned my confidence toward my appearance :) I'm singing songs with my bro :) I found a song that fit my situation :) 第一天我存在第一次呼吸畅快 ：）

my believings

在失去一段感情后，我曾经觉得我是一个很可悲的女生。我甚至一度让自己生病，希望严重地生一场大病。想让你自责。在我清醒后，我只想健康地、精彩地活着。在看见我最近认识的女性朋友身上的遭遇，我只能说我是幸运的。我曾经埋怨我的外貌、我的际遇但我不曾惊觉我的幸福。我身边有着正气的朋友和家人，烟赌酒不上瘾。爱家、孝顺、不做伤天害理的事，我应更感恩。 社会上不幸的人哪里可能出入平安，总有人关怀？ 我是个体肤完好的漂亮女生。我应该自豪、更应该感恩我拥有的福气。 就算我不完美，但是我有智慧，我有思考、判断的能力，我不曾被上天放弃。 我可以更坚强更有善心去影响那些放弃生命的人。 让他们或她们知道人生最大的福气就是有智慧地去生活。依靠自己的信念改变自己与社会的腐败。成为一个有大爱的智慧家。我的生命应该为这而燃烧。我应该多思考，多反省，多实行。 其实大爱说的多，做的却少之又少。 我有种族歧视，会偏心，会骂人罪有应得。 好希望有一天，我能够多感受大爱。理解佛道。脱离尘世间的烦恼，看透生命不过是一场梦。不再被束缚于拥有和失去的痛苦中。 现在的我语无伦次，我只想看透佛的智慧，了解并实行。 不知道我是否有缘于此。愿有一天我能被贵人指引。原因……我信念不够坚持。愿你加持于我。感恩！ saddhu saddhu saddhu.

obsessed with my phone apps

recently i had downloaded a lot of apps and songs with lyrics. i was singing all the time when i was home :) touching my phone, singing following the lyrics. syok! though my phone was not expensive, it was enough to amuse my day :) playing my jewel quest, online.. reading novel.. fun to be myself. maybe i was born to be enjoy alone. comfortable facing happiness and sadness on my own. never have to live under someone's emotion.it was nice :) never blame other for ruining your life, because you are the one mastering your thought. be happy ;)

an unplanned offday

well! time flies, it was my off day again. i woke up on 1.30pm yesterday afternoon. yeah, i was a sleepy piggy.. hahaha :) for me, sleeping was the greatest happiness in a day. so i gotta sleep as much as i could. after i got my brunch and bath, i decided to go out for shopping alone :) at that time, i phoned zhi mei to tell her that i was going for the europen vs heng ee basketball match. well, i was invited by zhi mei to go gurney with her sis. i had agreed because i had been a long time never went to gurney. haha.. now was my chance. it was raining cat and dog, i was holding an umbrella, trying to defence myself from the painful raindrop. it was a hard battle when i finally reached my car and fit myself into my car. wao! my dress was wet and my legs was covered by chilling rain droplets. i had used half an hour to get myself at gurney, i would never ever get myself dring in rain again. lol.. we just wandered around and had nando's at there. i was desperating for sushi :( after i got home at around 7pm, i went to meet up yi ching at old town there. surprisely, i met khai hung there too. i was only got informed that the match was cancelled and kh n mx were going to have sushi. for sure, i was not going to loose the chance though i was being big light bulb. hahaha.. just for my beloved bonanza 2! we went to sushi king at perangin. although we had waited for almost half and more hour, we had our precious dinner! this was the first time i ate 8plates of sushi! wakakaka! my mood get so well everytime i get to eat my sushi :) i love sushi king! sushi sushi wasabi ;p

Randomly random

Today I met a group of Leo's club members at mcd. I saw Chun Yee at first, but just greet each other with hi. It was quite awkward for me to meet them there because I was going alone. I did feel like they looked at me with kind of view. I just not feeling comfortable.. After I had finished my meal, Jing Wei approached to me. Well, he was being kindly and smiley. We had a nice chat time. At the beginning, I was so afraid that he'll talk Abt him, luckily it was just my thought. Honestly, fears came to me a lot whenever I knew there was a chance that something Abt him came near to me again. I wished that he'll disappear from my life completely. I was strong enough to handle my life alone. However, I failed tonight. I went to stalk his new partner's profile. You might wonder how I knw Abt his partner.. Well, I had a strong sixth sense. She was cute, sunshine and sportive. Honestly, they were so match to each other by looking at their personalities. Strong faith to the god, clever, good temper and sunshine. After I got a look on her profile, my soul had became so out strangely calm. Well, thanks god, it's her. :) I like how she looked. At the end, I was waiting for them to announce their relationship. Bless for both of you :) A big improvement in me, and I deserved a big clap. Finally, I had let it go. I bless her with my deep heart :) Haha!! Just now I was so angry with my brother, because he shouted on me. So bad that I transferred my anger on my mom. So sorry to her.. I hoped she'll forgive me TT After that, my bro apologized to me by text MSG.. Family is always the greatest lover and support. :) Today I went out with Kim Liu, jogging at Bukit Dumbar. She was a good friend, I hoped that she'll find her way to success. After jogging and dinning, I went out with tiara and yi Ching. At lk western food. Listening to what they talk, I knew I had lost connection with tiara for a long time. Haha.. Sorry to yi Ching and tiara :p You ppl so nice, no wonder luck always happened on my friends :) Haha.. Because u all treat me this no Xim Gua eh Chabo so nice.. Haha.. Good luck in July ya friends :)

不空白

我开始后悔为什么我以前写个人资料的事时候没有好好地写。 我好想被人了解，管他是哪一位。 今天我过得很开心，因为有人陪我聊天:D 原来认识和不认识一个人的感觉可以差那么远。 终于，我交了一位新朋友 *^_^* 我留恋这一份工作，有三个原因： 一、有机会认识来自不一样地方的朋友，甚至有年纪的差距。 二、我找到了我的自信，我很漂亮#^_^# 三、我学会了怎样冷静地面对陌生人 这半年我进步最多的就是沟通。 使用不同的语言与不一样的人群谈话，甚至不胆怯。 我可以制造话题，控制气氛。就是这样！ 我没有浪费我这个半年时间。 我感恩^_^

bad news

this was the first time i was so close with a malay friend. she had problem with her marriage and i was the only friend she thought to share. sometimes, i was empatied with her situation. a horrible husband who scolded her like dog on the road. she loves him and was willing to be the sec wife. she gave birth to a baby but everything was not appreciated. i saw her crying to works a few times before. how could a man did the same cruel things to two women? maybe, they were going to divorce soon as today hher husbsnd had said it out. that is why i don't believe in man's love and promises(exclude my dad) it was hard to find a man who loves u with his whole lifetime. if like that, i better never get married and fell in this situation. sucks life.. anyway, i hope that she could stay strong for her daughter.. all the best to her..

心中的真象

最近看了一部爱情剧。片名→泡沫之夏. 其实我有好长好长的一段时间没有看过这一类的戏了。 就因为我不相信爱情。 但这一部...我好喜欢欧辰。 这个男的好让我发酥... 电影必竟足虚幻... 我很想再爱上一个人。但我总是找不到... 再谈朋友,我有一个像亲人般的朋友. 她总在我需要的时候出现。 然后支持我的决定◇ 她对我的帮助不曾要求回报. 甚至还说下辈子要当我的情人。 虽然我向来都很冷漠... 但你的温暖,我忘不了.. 我们有着共同的秘密、问题和理想。 我这辈子最想珍惜的朋友就是你。 祝福你 *^_^* there is something i wanna talk abt. to someone i still love. it had been two months we did not contact each other. and for sure it was what i requested, u were being a good obeyer.. actually, i had regret for doing that cruel stuff towards myself. anyway, it was already a fact that i jealous n i tried to revenge in the way i always did. i was so sure that we would be strangers forever.. no matter how much i was eagered for u.. i had lost u.. i accept it.. sorry for the pain i brought to u.. i will bless for u.. for u.. a special person that ever appeared in my life. 爱一个人就要祝福他，就算，他爱的并不是你 我虽矛盾，我可以一时祝福一时诅咒，但我无法永远生气一个我爱的人。 我会把你收在我心中的神秘角落，孤单时怀念你，偷偷地继续喜欢你。 曾经，我嘲笑朋友的痴情，可以等待一个即遥远又不爱自己的人。 或许你教会我，爱是无法制止的。 我可以爱你很深很深，根本无可救药。 我的爱或许对你很廉价，因为我对你的付出和包容只有那么少。 但我的爱也可以很高尚，因为爱你，我给你自由，因为爱你，我可以放弃对你的纠缠。 在没有你的这一段时间，我不时梦见你，给我拥抱。 我不肯醒来，，因为我知道你现在想拥抱的人不会再是我。 我接受这个事实，但还是挥不去对你的感觉。 现在的我不会再为你哭了，因为我不再有那一个资格。 我可以承认我爱你，我可以很坦然说爱。 不知是哪儿冒出的勇气，我不会再为自己的面子而否认。 这样很好。可以爱你又不会伤害你*^____^* 我哥回来槟城工作了。 我希望他做回保险，因为我对他有信心。 我也能够介绍朋友给他。愿他能安定下来，不用爸妈再操心。 下次接吧@_@