still like normal..

monday..
lin aun n och accident near komtar..
tiok cheh kia when i noe it from yy..
i din go shui mo hua tat noon coz v bored..
so i wen tbac at 3pm..
yy bac at 4pm..
so she noe it..
i v worry tat day..
but dunno wat can i do..
feel tat i'm useless..
on tat day..
i really strongly feel tat i'm helpless on his life..
me oni will beban his life but not help him..
y human will got feelings??
especially de feel of love..
it really wan make me burst..
let everything happen according to god arrangement..
i dun wan bother so much d..
it had make me no mood to study anymore..
we dun hav any relation..
wat we had done is oni normal fren..
so dun think so much anymore..
study better la..
now wan read chemi..
i now more interest in chemi..
dunno y..
haha..
mayb bcoz tan lee ching gua..
dun like ooi lin chew..
make me insane nia..boring face..
yesterday met yee ching,hui zhen n ching er after ttn..
me, jun yi,och n yy go eat ban jian kui after ttn..
we met them at their..
long time no c hui zhen n ching er d..
they become prettier n looks v mature..
n ching er adi noe to drive car..
she sent them their to eat n go ttn..
n they so yeah tat go so far from house to ttn..
v pei fu them..
yy belanja us eat.. total rm8 sumthing..
haha..
exam is round de corner liao..
haiz
strongly bliv tat my result will drop tis time..
coz always absent mind..
hope dun la..
now not really interest abt others..
coz i feel v tired..haiz..
dun wan think liao..
me n yi ching's slogan: SO WHAT!!
i liv my life..
today..
yy cook spagetti..
n jk make de mesh potato..
actually quite nice when eat..
jus de look not v.. nia..
haha..
me,yy,jk,ola,ry n jw stay at class during recess time..
we eat it..
but v sorry tat i 4got to bring forks..
so we use hand n spoon..
den de pua ke po..(pn ooi)
suddenly come up..
she go 5s4 n 5.. n not sure..
we all go of class..
avoid her.. gai nia..
destroy our appetite..
today polly n yee ching r called by pn. leong..
clint v gai..
he join interact,library,st. john,electronic,badminton..
but he din go any activities..
sendiri cari mati..haha..
but he really a good person la..
tat day 'wat' him money to buy meal(fried chic)..me n yy..
us v shui.. haha..
n ola still v busy everyday..
it like evryday got things to do..
i better dun disturb him anymore..
yesterday till now..
i din sms him any msg..
mayb.. tis way better..
he looks so busy n tired..
me make no use 4 him..
better b me.. de oni me.. i can do it!!
leave him make thing easier..
these few days v no mood..
maybe..
sumday..
i'll be a stimfish in sch..
dunno wat happening around..
haiz..

today..

i wake up at 10.45 sumthing today..
jus bcoz of a call..
he call me at morning..
he ask wether i'm at home not..
i wondering y..
feel shock again..
he call me to go downstair after 5mins..
i brush my teeth n wash my face..
wearing my pyjamas..
den i saw him sitting at his motor..
he is drinking his water..
i feel a bit scare when walking to him..
he took a tupperware containing 2 egg tarts..
den he gav me n said tat it is breakfast 4 me..
i dunno how to react tat moment..
den he said he wan go 4 practice adi..
den he ride away..
these few days i feel a different him..
so special..so unpredictable..
i lov him bcoz he is he..
no1 can replace him..
he so romance n caring..
我覺得我太幸福了，太不可思議了。
有時候會覺得我沒有那麼好，也不值得他對我那麼好。
一直以來我會覺得我是付出的人，但原來他做的比我多。
讓我不知所措。
我現在好害怕，就因為覺得幸福，所以害怕失去。
他真的好棒好棒…不想失去你…
其實現在有點搞不懂我們的關係了。
你對我的好已超越了友誼…
卻沒有承認我們的關係…
但也好…起碼，有你的關心我已滿足了。
希望你永遠幸福快樂～

^*媚媚*^

food fair..(26th apr)

i reach at sch at 1pm sumthing..
i go 4yer coz de pameran..
den i saw lin aun..
my 水墨畫作品 dipamerkan at 4yer..
i'm de oni one from our class de drawing is placed on de board..
feel happy to noe it..
haha..
i din eat anything from home..
feel hungry..
den polly help me n tyy to buy fried banana n fried nian gao...
thx a lot to her..
we r waiting 4 ling hui..
after she come..
we go decorate our stall..
den we go find teacher to take de thingy to arrange..
actually not bad la our sale..
coz i 1st thought tat won got ppl will buy our thing de..
but fortunately got de aunty aunty come buy.. n
de kids come buy de keychain..
yesterday..i keep my smile all de day..
4 them to feel frendly..
n my muscle feel v 酸..
haha..
my stall v eng..
coz few ppl nia..
n i can c lin aun when i turn right..
he so busy..
he sells curry fishball..
quite nice..
i got buy..
after 6.45pm..
we change shif..
n get my freedom bac to walk around de stall..
actually few thing tat sell nia..
meixue sell roti ba gua..
me sell 緬甸木製品
jojo sell water n hotdog roti..
madame,jk sell cupcake..
lin aun sell enzyme n fishball..
yuan ker,ry,jw n kuan yew sell kicap soya n guai ling gao..
st john sell laksa.
library tong yuan n kuih..
shi min n och do game de..quite lame..(i get 2 packets of coffee powder,i gav it to moon)
指紋算命
polly,yl,sx n other choir members sell teddy n bun,cakes n tart..
waiting 4 his bear bear..
but he still v busy..
me n yy go eat together around 7pm..
many stall start finished their things adi..
i n yy buy 剉冰n laksa..
we sit down at de field near de 後門eat..
yy told me tat she come to de sch at 7am in de morning d..
n she do n din eat anything till i find her..
pity on her..
she even den change her cloth..
tired ..
n dunno wat kh had do..contrast btw them..
we go c de astro 新秀大賽冠軍sing..
all ppl should like crazy ppl..
haha..
i took phot of him..but not clear..
den de kh phone..i din hear..
n he phone 2nd time..
i cant hear his voice coz too loud liao..
he sms me cal me call yy to go canteen..
y dun u sms yy? wondering y phone me..
yesterday och sent yy bac..
i wan bac wif them..
but feel a bit lost coz lin aun still busying..
den i met moon..
wh adi bought her de bear..
n oso och bought to yy..
den moon 催him..
i feel not v happy coz i'm still busying him although he is busy..
moon tell him de teddy wan finish d..
n i get away.. coz feel not v comfort..
dun wan mahuan him..
he go buy..
n yl incharge to service him..
she told me tat..
lin aun v mahuan..
tis dun wan tat dun wan.. took v long time to choose..
i dunno at tat time..i wan bac d..
he took so much time.. i juz waiting him..
dunno how to do..
den he bac..
when he giv me..i heard he said he v busy..
so it makes me v guity..haiz..
den i ride motor bac at around 9pm..
he still busying.. worry of him..
he too tired liao..
he even nid to clear off de field..
after de food fair..
maybe i had slept he still keeping..haiz..
when i'm bac..
yl call me..she tell me lin aun so mahuan when buying de bear..
it is mashi maro..purple color..
i'm touch tat he is serious on choosing it 4 me although he is busying..
i noe he is really special..
den i sleep..
wish tat he would not fall sick..
sumtime i really think tat he likes a superman..
won tired de..he keep on moving..
there is no reason 4 me to giv up him..
i love him...

hari sukan(25th apr)

at 1st..we decided not to go to de stadium d..
lyl n madame follow me de..
actually de nite b4 de sukan i had decided not goin..
but i wan go c him n i lazy to rite letter..
dunno go where to buy mc too..
so finally i cancelled de study group btw me,st,yc n yl..
i sent yy to stadium..
at thursday..
lin aun got practice till nite..
so he bring hp to sch..
i noe it.. n i gav him och giv me de sim card..
inside de sim card still got rm12 left.. but it adi 過期..
coz he said his hp no $..
n i still got another sim card tat still left rm10..
n i will giv de other wan to yl..
coz she is now using 012..i giv her 016 punya..
so tat she can sms us..
it cost less..coz we all use 016
except yc,cy,jk..
tat day nite..
i sms him n scold sum1..n complain..
but i told him tat i din request 4 his any reply..
he no nid to bother me..
i jus wan to find ppl talk nia..
den at late nite he sms me using de sim card i gav him..
he had activate it..
n he call me dun worry so much..
n call me to sleep earlier so tat got energy to support him..
so i feel happy tat i got go..
if not i'll feel guity..
tat nite quite happy
coz he care me although he is tired of training till nite..
hari sukan..
i ride motor to opposite bomba to wait yy..
i sent her..
she told me tat sum afternoon session teacher wan return their cupcake..
so they had to eat all..
n she took 1.. she take to de stadium to eat..
tat day de weather not v good..
sum time rain n sum time dun..
so emotion..
we reach at abt 1.30pm..
actually they call us to arrive at b4 1pm..
but we feeel to early liao..
coz de sukan oni start at 2..
polly n yl adi reach 4 so long time..
haha..
we so clever..but still too early..
marching start at 2pm..准准
i jus wan c him nia..
but hard to find him..
coz he din wear spec tat day..
he is krs..
he line at coordinate(2,2)..
haha.. deep le..^^
i saw mei xue..
easy to find her..
coz she stand at side..
lao yi walking style..
haha..
she is st. john..
not bad la..
her st john get全場總冠軍…
well done..
n krs get 銀獎..
not good de..
de girl guide should not get de..
yer..bad..
i go down sang 2 times..
1st b4 de sukan start..
n i wan go find him..
but his tent to far away liao..
couldn't approach to there..
me n yy go to de toilet..n take photo by using hp..
(actually cannot bring,but f5 d wat..)haha..
2nd time i go down wif yl..
we go sang..
we walk along de tent..
but still couldn't approach there..
feel bit down..haiz..
we went bac..
n yy dun let me sit.. so i sit on her leg..
she yell..haha..
n got pcgh de parents sit beside och..
when her father saw me 到處跟男生講話,
he asked och tat is it all girl in heng ee so隨便like me?
when he saw me sit on yy leg..
he told och tat 叫那個女生以後不要這樣了。
he oso ask och tat is it our sch de class separate..
girls one class n boy 1 class..
och feel kek ki..
i dunno at 1st..
he jus look at me n show不耐煩..
n after they bac..
och ka tell me..
omg!!
wat world her parents still in..
say me cheap??
if he c tan yee ching..
dunno wat he will react..
haha..
b4 de sukan end..
we sing sch song..
i laugh..
coz no ppl sing..
i sambil nyanyi sambil暗笑..
haha..
dunno wat funny.. but i juz laugh..
n yy laugh when i laugh too..
when bac..ry lead me bac..
n we saw polly them..during riding..
yy sit my motor..och sending his cousin..
ry alone riding.. polly inside qian hui's car..
chic wing oso inside..
ry motor enjin mati.. after de red light turns green..
memperxiashuikan..haiz..
haha..
i put down yy at sch.. n bac..
not v happy.. coz cant c him.. hng!
but i din regret go tat day..
at nite..
he suddenly phone me using dunno who's no..
maybe his new hp no..
coz he said de no. b4 ate his $..
n he wan change liao..
i get shock..
he tell me tat he juz wan call me to talk nia..
feel surprise..
he ask me bout de banner,madame..
n a lot..
he feel bo syok tat lose to girl guide..
coz his chairman tell them b4 de march tat
不論怎樣都不可以輸給女生的對不對？
they shout so loud tat yes..
den they lose..haha.. so embarrase..
we talk v much n quite long time..
tis is 1st time he phone me jus to talk nia..
feel happy..
n at end..
he ask me tat你要bearbear嗎？
its so unblivable..
he call me choose myself..
den i said i dun wan..
i wan him to choose den giv me..
這樣才有誠意…
den he said ok..
when we end our conservation..
i feel so happy like dunno how to describe..
haha..
unwaited to receive his bear..
den i couldn't sleep..
coz i feel too sweet..
not willing to sleep..haha..
day end..

complicated(out of my business,but i'm kpc)

wednesday..
me,jojo,och went jk's house to help yy n jk do their cupcake..
busy whole day..
1st..
i sent yy from rachel's house to jk's house..
by carying muffin..
using motor..
actually my main purpose is to help yy n do my own cupcake nia..
quite fun..
n me skip add math ttn..
n i abet jojo not goin to ttn too..haha..
n i success..pity jojo..
we bake n make topping from around 4pm till 10 sumthing..
geng le.. din do any homework..
i ride motor bac home..
actually quite scare..coz i felt a bit uncomfortable tat nite..
n de day is dark..
there is some road tat totally no light..
i can oni c de road by my motor's light..
no ppl tat time..quite late liao..
when bac home..
my mom n dad perli me..
haiz.. haha..
they become more cute when getting older..
always argue 4 such a small thing..
but i admit tat they really v sayang me among me, my sis n bro..
n i'm v happy tat my sis will bring her boyfren bac to penang nex week..
n they will stay at here 4 few days to allow my parents to look at her bf..
haha.. good news..my sis really secretive..
unwaited to c her bf..haha..
continue de muffin thing..
we do de muffin quite rush..
but not bad it taste..(comment from yi ching, polly, meixue's bro n others)
just it looks not v pretty nia..
n de word write using cream had failed..
ppl not satisfied n complain..
yy cry on friday morning..siv period..
jus becoz of kh..
dun wan say abt him liao..
a lot ppl oso felt tat he had changed a lot..
n tat changes r not a good thing..
i heard from sum1 said tat..
some x-member of harmonica bac..
n they said tat kh had terriblefied de hamornica band..
n sum of their member even say tat..
kh是個很好很好的朋友，但絕對不是一個好的主席。
yy tells me tat he always delay things n coz a lot of event cant organize well..
kh..u noe?
tis is wat yy n sum of them say..
i jus tell u n let u decide wat should u do nex..
dun keep on like tis liao..
i dun wan to say more liao..
i really not v interest in ur doin thing way..
jus from de food fair..
i feel not syok wif u..
every ppl is busying doin cupcake..
n wat i c u is..
u r talking wif ppl at de bike park..
dun u think tat u shold help?
n beside talking..
u oni noe take out hp n press press press..
i dunno wat u r busying..
自己學會剩下的事都還沒做完忙什麼交流會？
你真的那麼不會分輕重嗎？
籌委的東西yy有跟我講過…
東西都沒做完，拖到現在，時間到，再隨便丟給別人做。
嗐…不知道怎樣講你了…
算。
actually tat day after de ttn u no nid come liao de..
u so busy smsing n giving useless comment..
wat tat can help?
u noe we do from afternoon till nite?
we feel v tired..
n we r rushing de products..
u jus noe critict nia..
u juz help do 1 or 2 nia..
how u noe our tireness?
u noe a lot meh?
u even din 給我們鼓勵反而讓我們打擊…
你那麼厲害你就試做看啊！
並沒有你想像中簡單…
at rachel house wat i c u doin is talking wif ur member..
n press hp..
n finally help is when stirring nia..
but u still talking n doin slow..
u like not 在乎那樣…
make us feel angry..
me,och n jojo not ur member but we still help to do..
but u?
haiz.. dun wan say liao..
i dun care wat u think abt me now..
u can tell every1 i'm v evil..
but i'm not scare..
coz u r hurting my best fren..
n i won allow u to do tat again..
i won regret..

CANT LET GO HIM..

i noe i cant let go him..
i need him..
although juz can look at him once a day..
i feel satisfy...
i always hope tat he wouldn't b so busy evrytime..
i wan stay near him..
today..
choir got promote their bear bear in class..
carol called him to buy it 4 me..
actually i felt uncomfortable at tat time..
but i feel happy tat he din say anything tat he dun wan..
maybe he dun wan hurt me gua..
but i relly wish tat i can receive it..
he never giv me anything b4..
but i dun wan giv hope on myself..
to avoid bein disappointed badly..
i take a hairy hp acessory.. n keep touching it..
coz i feel tat it is soft.. i quite like it..
coz i wan a nice hp diao shi 4 so long adi..
n tis look not bad..
n suddenly he ask me tat' u like it hor?'
den i just said no..
n put it bac..
dunno y.. i cant say out tat time..
but watever la..
either he wan giv onot..
i still lov him la..
he is so special..
no one can replace him now..

today..
raining starts from early moring..
n he came sch a bit late..
n he get wet..
his shoes all wet, n he borrowed slippers from kok hong..
quite pity looking him like tat..
although och get wet too, but och wear pj tshirt..
not so cold..
lin aun said tat he adi sick b4 rain..
i wan chat wif him evrytime through sms when i'm sad..
or he got difficulty..
but his hp now no money liao..
i noe it..
so i had to go through tis few weeks by myself..
i yesterday sent him rm3 coz och told me tat he need 4 emergency..
i got hesitate on tat time..
but my mind kip calling me to help him..
i..feel myself lost.. i really really like him..
i wan him to get de better wan..i change a lot when facing him..
dunno wat will i do 4 him de nex moment..
he recently v weird too..
he always call my name 4 syok..
n tis action keep me hoping more from him..too bad..
i'm really falling 4 him adi..
duno gud thing or bad things will happen btw me n him..
but i like de situation we r now..
he noes my heart..
n he treat me better but not over..
sumtimes i feel relly sweet when he says sumthing tat abt me..
dunno wat he really thinks abt me inside his mind..
but i hope tat he'll noes tat he is important 4 me now..
i won let u go..but i'll keep u inside my heart 4ever..
i dunno my feel on u will last how long..
but sumthing sure is tat
U R DE ONE INSIDE ME NOW
*wish u always in happiness^^

yi ching b'day..

yesterday me,su theng,jk, jojo, och,kh n chun yik had celebrated yi ching's b'day..
we go sue theng's house..
coz more pretty n got swimming pools.. haha..
we gather at kfc 1st,den me n yc eat 1st..
de chicken rice..taste ok nia..
och got wet coz raining suddenly when he was on de way..(by motor)
actually he got ttn on 7pm..
but he lied to his mom..by memperalatkan us..
haha.. but not bad la..
so he din go ttn yesterday,n play wif us till 9 sumthing..
jk juz eat n den bac liao..
he said he feel hou hui coz he bought de twisted roaster..
i agree wif him,coz i had ate b4 wif yy(eat at FOREST)
it taste quite strange 4 me..
jk,och,jojo n chun yik had bought cakes..
n i gave yc a bear bear as a present..
wan pokkai liao..T.T
jk bac at 7pm..so waste tat he cant celebrate wif us at st's home..
we play really syok..--actually we talk more..
we hav 4 cakes n cy's wan is de smallest wan..haha..
he said he is paise to buy so small wo.. cute^^
n och is de biggest wan..rectangular..
den jojo n jk bought 2 similar cakes..
no heart lo..haha..
since we hav 4 cakes so we sang 4 times b'day song..
n yc has (3x4)12 wishes to make..
i got take video..
but i cant upload so i write it down here..haha..
1.can beat down jk in 1b exam..(coz she said u not here adi,haha)
2.become fairer(impossible!haha)
3.jojo can grow taller(erm..quite difficult)
4.och can b more man(pig oso noe to climb tree if tis come true..kidding)
5.chun yik oso can b more man..hehe
6.me n lin aun can...(i wish la)
7.madame can jia de chu..haha..och suggests..(yuan ker wan her adi wat..)
8.got ppl celebrate wif her on nex yr valentine(i blf tis will come true..)
9.st n ry can to be together(according to her explaination:both of them r tall,so suit)
10.lim bee suan dun wear shirt without sleves..(swt..)
11.we all can get full A1..yeah!!
12.secret..she dun wan tell us..(haha..better dun let me noe..keke..)

we play cream again like last yr kh's b'day..
all ppl ran around..dunno st will get complain not..haha..
den kh n st went buy soft drink coz we feel thirsty..
they went so long.. n chun yik soooo worry.. haha..
afraid tat kh cant control, n...st..kaka..
but wat i'm worry is tat st is de one b de color wolf..haha..
we continue our lame talk n jokes..while waiting them bac..
fun..
i v no syok och..
no style..no man..no taste..n even aren't like a normal guy..
haha..i start hesitate on tyy's taste..
wakakaka..
we talk abt ghost story yesterday..
n chun yik v scare but he still like to talk..
his reaction totally girly..
no wonder carol n yee ching like to make fun of him..
eg:de sanitary pad..Omg!
n i bluf jojo today tat st saw 'sumthing' yesterday when he play wif de tiang..
haha..he blif..
so sui..i like to cheat him..
especially de video..modelling video taken by jojo himself..
catwalk..omg!u cant imagine it..
i tipu him tat my fren had uploaded de video to de U-tube..
but i pei fu him tat..he ride bicycle to st's house..
so ho lat..
he said tat he'll go 4 motor license in june..
he said he'll drive me if he pass..
although i think he couldn't make it so fast..
but i wan try his motor..haha..
yesterday i oso ride och's motor..
not bad la..

och n jojo bac at around9pm..
den left me, yc, st, kh n kcy..
we continue ghost story..
den suddenly rain heavily..
so we change place sit..den continue normal talk..
now i ka noe tat cy ride skuter to sch de..
n he got a sis, a big bro n a small bro..
but y he not man le..continue wondering..haha..
yc fetch cy bac.. at 9 wan 10 sumthing..
me n kh bac to our apartment..(we dun liv together.. dun misunderstanding)
st jus went upstair n bac..
tat's all..

~THE END~

讓我默默的好了

我不強求…
喜歡你是我自己的感覺…
我會默默的喜歡你好了…
希望你快樂就好…
我才知道其實我幫不了你什麼…
暗戀原來比較自在…
讓你知道，其實感覺已不一樣了…
so wat!
i still alive wat!
i need release..
maybe i just need not to b rely hope on u nia..
放棄吧…
我必須不斷催眠自己…

全是感激…認識你們真好！

我已淡忘了小學時期的歡樂…

但回憶中仍忘不了小時的拙事…

記憶中我小學是很討人厭的…

有點不是很想回顧…

剛升上中學時，一切總是那麼陌生…

朋友、環境、老師…

記得中一時我很想快點畢業…

我有做一個特別的日曆來倒數上課的天數…

中一生活在我腦海里仍是可怕的。

升上了中二，我才開始真正的交友…

我開始認識了詩敏、沛達等等…

天天談話、講鬼故事…好玩极了。

記得有一次，我們講著鬼故事，

沛達那時總愛裝酷…

我們講得很恐怖，突然沛達喊一聲嚇我們…

我們被嚇得像鬼一樣…哈哈

趣事繼續著…沒完沒了。

上了中三…又坐跟沛達，

緋聞不斷…

我進一步認識了靖幃、雪鈺等…

年中時換位，詩敏換來坐在我旁邊…

天天說笑，根本沒在上課…

除了玩還是玩…

我們坐在最後一行，最角落的位置，不受老師注目。

我曾把課本留在班上抽屜里，

以方便明天不用帶這麼多課本…

結果被那死cicak拿去學長室…恨死她！

中三還發生了小插曲…

死cicak又作怪，害我們誤會沛達…

但這件事增進了我們的友情…

沛達那一次哭了，第一次看男生哭…

怪怪的…

那時我們同心協力對抗惡勢力，

學長都怕了我們…哈哈…

好值得回憶喔！

考完pmr后，

大家天天都在想遊戲玩…

比之前更忙了…哈哈

我們玩殺手、請你跟我這樣做、snap等等的。

幾乎樂翻天了…

好想回到那時候…沒有壓力的時光…

中四時我成績跌得很利害…

原因：對sc有抗拒感

但那是我認識了好多好多朋友的一年：

och,audrey,ola,yiying,黑痴,lyl,qjk,polly,clint,ykh,淑恩等…

之前沒那麼親密的，都彼此更認識了。

我很愛4s1！充滿回憶的一年…

都是歡樂開心的…到處去這去那…歡樂年…

直到今年…我找到了我的最愛…

但是友誼我很難尋了…

haiz..

但無論怎樣…

你們是我認識過最棒的朋友！

恆毅好棒！

這一篇文章我已忘了是誰發給我的了。。

我是在我的dokumen里偶然發現到的。。

我不會生氣我愛的人

因為你是值得我愛的。。

不只我喜歡的人，

也有我的家人和朋友，

千萬千萬不要讓自己留下遺憾啊！

secret..

fren..

if u had saw my blog..

can u all keep it as a secret？

coz i had written all my secret without any protection..

coz i c blog as a 發洩區..

i'll rite anything tat i syok n no syok..

it actually all my private story..

but i preferred to share wif u all..

so can u all keep it as secret whenever u all c it..

pls..

n thx..

photo..

i thought yesterday we got no take photo..

bt i had 4gotten tat yee ching got come n took photo 4 us..

hehe..

actually tis photo shows we haven finished de banner yet..

n quite simple n not so pretty..

but jw sai tat de teacher judge more like simple n bright color..

de main is can show de theme of de campaign..

so we still got chance to win it..

used little n bright color n simple is our taktik to win..

wakaka..^0^

coz a lot of ppl used more den 7 colors..

n too complicated liao..

when c from far,u'll c nothing..

so hahaha...

*tis photo is from yee ching's blog.. n de one wear yellow pj tshirt is me..

girl wif blue behind me is lyl..

de oni boy is pjw..

de one coloring purple is my old old classmate(we had bein classmate 4 11yrs),now oso..

de one wif color plate is de crazies wan..madame lok..

actually..

actually i think ola..
i feel tat lin aun dun like me..
i feel unconfident when so much ppl noe my lov on him..
shi min tell me b4..
他是喜歡，而我是愛。
我們之間有著這麼一個不平衡點。
讓我不知是否該該讓這種感覺延續下去…
我沒自信了。
也許愛上他是我錯誤的選擇。
愛沒有對和錯。
但沒有結劇的愛，是痛苦的。
不對的愛，一開始就不應該延續…
繼續下去，受傷的只會是我…

todayzz..

today..
i got anti dadah banner competition..
quite tired..
coz we draw(actually i oni coloring nia,coz my drawing not v gud) v long time..
from 8am till 11sumthing..
i lenggang whenstart to draw..
finally we got no time..
everything start bcome v messy..haiz..
n de teacher n other ppl start call us to kip..
n jing wei v jian chi..he wan to finish de banner..
he even scold de x-chairman of de rakan sebaya..haha..
how dare him..
we r given bihun n mee goreng(vegetarian)..
me n yy curi tulang,go n eat when they still drawing..(me v keji..haha)
*me,yy,lyl,pjw n ymx*
actually quite satisfy today..coz we got finished de drawing,
although quality not as last yr de..
#last yr i din join bcoz i got things to do,so i let to tyy..
i regret liao..coz they last yr get 1st place le..wuwuwu..T-T
we got no time to take photo coz de time r not allowing me to do tat..
v kasihan..haiz..
when finished..we take de banner n put at de bilik counseling..
many others banners r v nice..
we take of our shoes during drawing..so my stocks all kena pelaka..
yucks! geli..
cant wash wan..
n de 貼身的小強come again when we r rushing to finish ours banner..
useless..kacau me nia.. n i'm not tat close wif her..
y she always saying tis n tat to me? foolish!
when we finished..
mx n yy go to their society to do their own things..
me n yin ling go wc..
n pjw wait us at de sch hall..
when we return..he adi at de outside of hall..
de 鐵門adi lock..
pity jw had to carry ours belonging outside.. haha..
n den yy bac..
we sit n talk together beside de鐵門..
n we heard lin aun's voice..
he is training his members to march..
walau!
he is sooooooo strict..
he kip punish hia member if they salah..
so man..haha
we shout to him..wakaka..
he saw us n oso waving his hand to us..
miss him..@-@
den we decided to go to kfc after 12.30
(coz at tat time we ka can go out frm sch,lame rule..)
i escape from tai chi..
dunno when ka will get surat amaran,coz i long time din go liao..
haha..
we cant find och..
dunno he go where..
he din hear ours call..wan beat him liao..
mx giv me n jw c his brother's mv..
quite stupid n cute..
his brother use her mother's hp to took his own mv..(有為你而活、牛仔很忙)
coz to day mx's hp no battery, so she xchange hp wif her mom..
so cute of his brother..although all de lyrics r create by himself(亂來的)
haha..
hey,his brother oni standard 5 oni..how come so 自戀?
haha..
den me, yy, och, n pjw ride motor to de batu lanchang kfc..
as usual..yy sit my motor(never pays me fee)hng!
haha..
den we eat cheezy wedges..
den we bac..haha..
so lame.. always go here n there..

shi min n roong hui went to pantai keracut tis morning n bac at evening..(planning by library)
but till now..(6pm)
they still haven inform me wether they bac adi not..
i'm v worry now..
coz when i'm bathing..
roong hui calls me,n tell me tat they had lost during journey..
i get shock..
n she said she'll tell me wat happens when she's bac..
bt till now still no news...
haiz..

paise..
i ph sm juz now..
n she tell me they bac adi..
so nothing liao..
hehe..
actually i got go together wif them de..
n we had plan to camp there..
bt i got de banner.. so i had to reject it..
bt they said i had did correct coz i din go..haha..

haiz..my moral project haven do ko..v sienz..ll=.=
n today i saw mah wei jun wearing krs de tshirt..
i get shock too.. haha..
he is under lin aun..
haha.. now i ka noe..
bt dunno wether he is oso ajk not..
he is a 變態的phy佬…
he go 3places to ttn 4 his physics..
sure siao liao.. but seems tat his phy not de top 1 oso in our class..
jk got de highest marks..
proud of our gang/area..
blek..;p
no la.. jus kidding..
he is a not bad classmate..
tat day i bac from ttn at forest..
i ride motor bac n i 4got to push my stem up..
he reminds me.. he not bad la.. haha..
talk abt jk..
he gets de 3rd place in debate(daerah)
not bad.. proud of him..WELL DONE!
n lin aun oso v excellent..
his krs oso gets a lot of 冠軍in marching competition..
Gambate!
must do best oso in isch exam..
must beat down jk..haha..
kidding nia..

小強不要這樣硬來好嗎？
你為什麼就不會看人臉色做人？
你不要像貼身蟑螂醬跟著我好嗎？
我對你一點好感都沒有…
除了很感激你…
不要整天看過來…
我沒欠你的好不好？
整天只會踩我的自尊…
你也不是厲害到哪裡而已…
你的手癢极了…
什麼都要動，又沒問人…
你是啞巴嗎？
整天用胸壓我…
現在世界上只有你有胸嗎？！

認識我的人都知道我hurt人較沒經大腦…
所以別怪我太直了！
這就是我…楊素媚！
你可以恨我踩我，但你請當心…
有一天我會把你踩得死死的！

*此部落格含有恐嚇及不良內容，
請讀者看后洗眼…謝謝…

～完畢～

today..

yesterday my right leg 扭到。。
n so painful..n i got to ride motor bac home too..
i wana cried out adi when i'm startng engine using tat leg..
but i were in helpless situation..
so i need to tahan till home..

today..my leg turn worse..
more pain i suffer..
haiz..
i'm walking terhincut-hincut till de sch end..
i noe de result today..
n i got 第三十名..
quite impressed result 4 me..
but i wan more.. n i'll work hard 4 it..
last time i get no.46(means last position in class)
n i'm now v happy..
ok..
now abt de biasiswa i apply today..
de teacher today de mood not v good..
n i din bring de form,ic photostat,last yr exam photostat..
so i got to rush home n go photostat immediately after sch..
after photostat..
i went bac to sch n pass up me n yy de form..
so letih..
n de teacher was talking wif pei hern..
n i juz put de things on de desk n leave..
hopes tat i can get de biasiswa..
hehe.. but act i think hope not v high..haiz..
n after running here n there..
i feel my leg become better n not so pain..
i thought it becomes better adi..
who noe.. my leg more pain now..
coz i walked bac from sch after pass up de form..
it become terrible..haiz..haha..
but not bad of bein injuired..
de pain make us excited..
haha..
u must think tat i'm crazy de..haha

n today need to pay rm5 4 de sukan..
n lin aun paid 4 me again..
now i'm owing him rm23..
hw i return him these money rm1 per day?
pek chek nia..
gai!

Dear:hung

hung..

i noe u got c my blog

n i might had hurt u through wat i ritten in my blog..

but i won apologise 2 u 4 wat had i did..

coz i think i'm not wrong..

every1 think tat u r making us insane..

juz bcoz u r too willing to help ppl..

but actually those kind of things not really kaitan wif u..

u should learn to do on other ppl works when u had did all ur things..

量力而為…這是我勸你的…

當人家要你幫忙時，第一個想起的不是須要的人，

而是你自己…想想你有多餘的時間和能力幫他嗎？

不要硬撐…因為你有更重要的事等著你去做…

不是我們要講你，而是你在我們心目中就是這麼盲目的幫助…

我們知道你很想幫我們，

但有時候我們的需要只是隨口說說，你卻堅持地要幫我們…

其實你不知道我們的那件事其實不是那麼重要…

當你辛苦地幫我們完成時，

我們心中除了十分感激，也同時十分恐懼和虧欠…

我們漸漸不想找你幫助，因為害怕麻煩你…

而這種感受其實是不應該存在于朋友之間…

真正的朋友是不會害怕麻煩朋友的…

因為熟悉並了解彼此…

我知道我不該醬說你，

但我永遠不會在這件事上向你道歉…

因為我覺得你該換個相處的方法…

還有不是你的事就別理這麼多了…

像是沅格的事件上。

我們其實跟他並沒怎樣…

他那天心情低落后，隔天就跟我們嘻嘻哈哈。

只有你會去在意…瑩根本沒有跟老師講過…

而且誤會早消除了，也知道真相。

沅格沒在意…你又有什麼資格管呢？

我已經算是局外人了，那你不是局外人的局外人嗎？

我只想跟你聊我完全明白的事，剩下的事，

由你跟瑩討論吧…

我之前會罵你，不是因為我認為我懂得多，

而是我生氣你為什麼一直認為問題都在別人身上，

而不去探索問題的根本…

我有錯，但我有去了解，最後明白沅格沒有說到…

那你有了解到什麼嗎？

有時候交際的學問不是靠書就能得到的，

是依環境社會和人們的性格而改變的…

我知道我對你很偏激，但你有想過，

為什麼大家突然之間會對你那麼疏遠嗎？

是大家都有問題呢，還是你該換個交際方式？

我很坦白，我知道，但我的坦白是想讓你知道，

我們這一gang對你的看法…

老實說我覺得你變了。
我不知道我的話你在不在意，
而我也不會跟你爭執，更不會避開你…
我只希望，
我離開恆毅時，
你在我的回憶里，永遠是歡樂的…

寧安記事檔案

我還欠寧安RM19【戲劇的票+che的錢】..
戲劇的票是因為他而買的…現在分期付款著…
一天一塊…哈

他做了很多讓我感動的事…
1.上次坐他的摩托。握著他的衣角，幸福的感覺湧上心頭。
2.他願意幫我繳交chemistry test的費用…
而且不是我要求的…
他自然幫我付…
雖然乃需還…但我已覺得十分感動…
或許我的心就是那麼容易被牽引…
3.看到我難過，他會不斷地問我‘素媚，做麼事？誰弄你哭？’
很感動…但我回應不了他，因為淚水把我的喉嚨都咽住了。
4.回到家…我發簡訊給詩敏道歉，她久久未付。心裡好害怕，想找個人談談，我誰都想不起，只想得到他的安慰…我拿起手機寫了一句：free to talk wif me?當我想把它寄出時，我收到了一封簡訊，我頓時有強烈的預感是【他】…于是我擱著未寄出的信息先不發，退出諞緝室，看看是不是真的是他…果然是他！他問我：juz now wat's wrong wif u?我跟他聊了整個下午…很安慰有他在…
5.有一次，我生氣他沒回覆我…但我深知我沒權利要他怎樣因為我們沒有關係…所以我在生自己的悶氣…他就發了一封讓我不知所措的信息給我…我保存至今：

if u tink i dun care 4 u bcoz of less msg,u r wrong,

it doesn't mean tat i've 4goten u,

i'm jus giving u time 2 miss me.

at de same time,

i'm jus looking 4 de BEST msg 4 de BEST person,

whom i never 4get.

那一刻，我發現我真的是愛上你了…我太容易動情了吧？

有一次，是詩敏暗地裡進行的…

因為我跟詩敏說，如果那天的十二點前他沒理我的話，我就會徹徹底底的放棄他。

我真的可以做到的…因為你對我狠，我會放棄得更爽快。

結果他在23：23發了封簡訊給我…但內容純娛樂性…我跟他聊了一下便睡覺了。當天我已決定放棄他。但第二天詩敏誥訴我他在那之前警告安說：如果你喜歡素媚的話，就發簡訊給她，不然你完了。結果他在時限內從新奪得我的心…他太利害了，我逃不掉他…

因為你，我瘋狂過，不理智過，確定的是…我一天比一天更愛你…

我比較擅長聆聽

最近我發現我比較不愛說心事…
也許是不慣了
還是我比較喜歡聽別人的心情…
目前我覺得我幸福…
我家人給予我自由，較信任我了…
目前的家里問題應該只有經濟問題吧…
我爸媽都不擅理財…
還在供著屋…看見他們那麼辛苦，
我很難過，因為我幫不上忙…
我哥又欠了銀行貸款，還錢得很辛苦…
我真的很難受…
我姐也很壓力…今年就要大學畢業了。
要學會扛起這一家…
辛苦她了…
現在…友情和學業最讓我焦急…
我是一個不能沒朋友的人…
所以朋友的一點摩擦我都難受…
至於學業～
我一定要考好來！
我要證明給那些看不起我的人，
我會嬴過你的！
目標：1B考試我一定要擠進二十名以內！
去年我失水準了，我愿今年不要再讓自己墯落了！
加油加油！！
我不爽你們的眼神，更不爽你們的說話方式！
你們已傷了我的自尊許久…
為了我的顏面…
我跟你們拼了！

wif moon

dunno wat to say..
but i really love moon..
not tat kind of lov..
but a true feel of appreciating of noeing her..
i dun wan our frenship will gone just like tat..
sorry to u 4 ignoration tat i had did to u unconciously..
sorry..i really mean it..
frenz 4ever~

我很沒用！！

恨死我！恨死我！恨死我！

找不到自己的價值，

開始懷疑自己的存在…

怪自己無能…

我擁有太多了，我也不配擁有…

是我太悲觀了嗎？

還是我本來就是…

我不想放棄…但我的心一直在否認自己的價值…

原來…在我心裡我是沒有優點的

這就是我沒自信的起因…

我到底能為這世界付出什麼？

有太多太多了…

但是我一直做不到…

恨自己太沒膽了…

我要長大！

距離

距離讓我們更靠近

也讓我們更遙遠

有時候距離是為了讓我們更清楚

而有時候也為了讓我們看不清

有些事…

不知反而更好

看不清楚也是種美

起碼…

不會造成傷痕

Things r beautiful from far..

distance made us wonderful..

but when things come near..

u'll realize tat..

it is far from beautiful..

so,

sometimes we may dun wan noe things lot..

clearer makes u more disapppoint..

【因為距離所以美麗】

人們都喜歡在失去后才懂得珍惜

但我不希望我是。。

不留遺憾是我的原則

同時我不願意

他人因為我而感到委屈。。

尤其是我愛的朋友

要好好珍惜喔！^^

希望這誤解能解開吧！

航和瑩…
我希望你們之間的誤會能在明日后化為更深一步的了解…
祝你們好運咯！
我相信航你不是這種人…
同時我可以向你證明瑩不是你想像的那種人…
愿我們大家不要帶著誤會離開…
我愿相信。。我們是最棒的一群！
YEAH！！

時間

每個人都有二十四個小時。。
但為何我的時間都像是不夠用？
是我太會浪費時間吧！
這是我的結論。。
唉…
為何我那麼不會愛惜光陰？
太對不起自己了。。
趕功課是我在學校必有的行為…
你可以從第一節到放學都看到我在埋頭苦抄功課…
可悲的是…
這些功課都是昨天、前天，甚至是上個月留下來的…
夠慘吧？
哈哈…
開心的是…
不只我一個人這樣而已…
還有…我身邊的駱小姐，後面的峻凱，再後面的榮燿和廢先生…
酷吧？
本來我後面的寧安也是如此，
但由于他最近學會較沒事干，
所以功課都有做…
其實滿奇怪卿和琳是怎么可能把功課做得那麼齊的？
太玄了～*@*

撼。。

我希望我的人生是精彩的…

是被欢乐包围的…

但欢乐似乎已离我越来越远了…

我害怕…

我觉得我手中的沙越漏越多，我握不住它…

很慌张，也不知该怎么做才不会遗失它们…

友谊…

好不安的字眼…

我很爱朋友们之间的互相怜惜的感觉…

但现在我已无法体会那份感觉了…

我们的欢乐好像只有在回忆中才能寻得…

好深怕没有了你们…我的日子该怎么过…

我不要…

不要毕业后大家都带着遗憾…

让我们再一起爱一回吧！

朋友！我爱你们！

我希望不要把我从你们心中删掉…

我这辈子最没后悔的事便是－在恒毅就读…

认识你们是我这辈子最大的福气。。。

没有恒毅，就没有我们的回忆…

美雪，丽芳，仪莹，诗敏，翊卿，jojo，峻凯，宁安…

我感激你们陪我玩乐的时光…

以后，毕业了，你们的名字将永远存于我心中…

安…我希望你不要忘记我…

终于我了解到了爱…

我不需要占有你，只要你快乐，我就会幸福…
就那么简单…是你让我体会到的…

我。。

真的。。

很爱你。。。

i wan to scold a person...

recently many ppl in our class r facing frenship problems..
thins change a lot..
n i'm not ready to accept such a changes..
we aren't like last yr anymore..
we suspect each other,
talk abt their backbites..
feel sad n disappointed on it..
i dun wan like tis..
i more like 4s1 rather den 5s1..
sad..T-T..

u..
i noe i'm out of tis business..
but u make me feel curious on ur way of thinking..
how come u oni hear a ppl talk n think bad of yy?
u thought u noe evrything,but actually u r NOT!
n i'm mad of u..
u always talk dao li tat seems nonsence 4 us..
u think u r rite,ur decision,ur taste n everything..
but let me tell u.. u r totally wrong of it!!
y dun u get our explaination 1st b4 think bad of us?
u think yuan ker is always good?
do u noe hw bad is his mouth?
u just heard his rungutan..but hw abt yy?
i noe she feel really sad when u told carol tat "yy n jk oni wan kuasa"..
wat u meant by tis?
isn't u feel guilty on these words?
hw bad r u?!
den wat u wan them to do 4 UR society?
u wan them look useless?
yy is a jian qiang de girl.. but u noe?
she still a girl.. she is just more jian qiang den other girls..
tat dun meant tat u can hurt her by these words..
try to observe by ur eyes n use ur brain.. not eveything u saw r real..
n dun affect och to think bad of yy..
coz he is like u.. just belif who he belif but not de real..
i had misunderstand jing wei b4 n i really feel bad on it..
i just dun wan u to follow my steps..

I JUST WAN U TO C CLEARLY.. DUN TRY TO THINK BAD ON SOME1 TAT IS NOT WRONG..
WE R JUST FIGHT 4 OUR RITE..

i dun think u'll c my blog on tis page..but i hope i got chance to talk wif u abt tis..

愛得起就要放得下

人生只有一次，但機會不是…
人生不能重來，但機會能…
有些事決定了，就不該後悔也不該難過…
堅強的人是最勇敢的…
放開吧…
一切都是虛無的…
愛，是多麼累人啊！
還是一個人好…
卿…也許你說對了吧！

上天的游戏…

人類都如上天手中的一粒棋子，而我們的人生都如一盤遊戲一樣。
上天把不同的人安置在不同的位置上。
而這就像征著我們的出生背境及在生活中的地位…
然而遊戲規則則是上帝不會為我們作出選擇…
我們得自己判斷出路…
然而上帝的惡作劇導致我們遇上各種不一樣的難題來擾亂我們的思緒。
逼我們作出選擇…
而我越來越愛這麼一個遊戲了，
因為只有這樣人生才有意思…
雖然我目前的生活是如此的平凡，但我堅信，
未來我將成為一個不平凡的我。
我不會荒度我的人生…
既然我因為這個世界而幸福，我也要世界因為我而快樂！