stpm fight

since my bro took away his laptop from penang, i did not blog anymore, until today=)
lots of things happened during this period of time, things i never expected to happen.
my grandmother passed away, my cousin get married, my sister became plum and etc.
my friends fallen in love with each other, they were superb!
finally, i had to end my form 6 life.
i wished to study pharmacy, i hoped i could grab my dream to realistic^^

honestly, i admit that i was the type of people who could easily fall for someone during last time. i thought i should be same right now. but.. perhaps i did not understand myself well.. i find it hard for me to have a crush on somebody else than him.
after i break up with him, i found out that my heart was occupied, by him.
i didn't want him to know because i knew it was impossible for us to get together again.
he might still treasure me much, i knew. but i knew, we didn't suit for each other. anyway.. i will try to get in love with somebody else. get my passion back.

i'm not sure that how my results will be, i wish all the best for myself^^

很能形容我的感觉

他們猜我們後來有沒有再見
離席了才會曉得懷念
突然我記起你的臉　那觸動依然像昨天
對自己　我終於也　誠實了一點

是不是回憶就是淡淡檸檬草
心酸裡又有芳香的味道
曾以為你是全世界　但那天已經好遙遠
繞一圈　我才發現我有更遠地平線

畢竟用盡了力氣也未必如願
總是要過去以後才了解
突然我記起你的臉　愛不愛不過一念之間
繞一圈　今天的我能和昨天面對面

我們都沒錯　只是不適合
親愛的　我當時不懂得
選擇是我的　不是你給的　明天自己負責

給昨天的我一個擁抱
若我們再見我會微笑
謝謝你　我嚐過　愛的好
我要的我現在在才懂得
選擇是我的　不是你給的
幸福要自己負責　錯過的　就算了

break up

at last, we failed in this relationship. we ended this up peacefully and perfectly in the way i needed. i knew it won't last since the day you refused to deliver me a kiss. i knew. i was not the precious you love anymore. this ending relieved me even more than i thought. stitch, the feeling of loving you was still that fresh in my soul. it was just that you not feeling the same as i did anymore. instead of saying that you gave me back my freedom, i was fed up with you. the way you treated me after last year's oct was sucks! i tried my best to fit in the way you wanted. i lost myself. i was not going to hate you, because i was not that sad after a sleep this morning.
like what 'big momma' taught me.
'rather be alone for the rest of life than stay with the guy that not suitable for us for a minute.'
thx for let off me. never treat your future lady in the way you end off with me.

anyway, out of expect that i feel happy whenever i thought of you all the day. the bad has been forgotten. all in my mind was the sweet memories you gave me. i smile when the moment i thought of you when i woke up. i tore the pic i sticked on my phone last time and i kept it in my 'treasure box'.

you gave me the happy memories. thanks for that. i hope that you would not feel guilty and good luck on your coming exams and hardships. finally,don't worry of me, i'm super strong.. i'm perfectly fine. c?

so take care too ya..lin aun^^

blogwalkers

there has been a few blogwalkers visited my blog. some of them i do not know who are they and where they come from. at first, i thought of lock up my blogs.. but at the end, i think it is okay.

say 'hello' to you all..
this site is a site where i fit a lot of stuffs. it can be interesting or boring.
just happy that you passing by to take a look.
welcome^^

cant be titled

there is a conflict in my mind now. i'm telling lies frequently. i want to stop to be a liar. while reading through the passages on japan's earthquake and tsunami, i can't feel my sympathies to them. have i changed to be such cold-blooded? what i be is not what i want. what makes me interested on reading the news is the process of tsunami and how they suffer.

lying, it is a common habit that can be found on me. just ask any friends around me, none of them escape from my cheats. especially my dear. is it lying a phase of mind development? i'm struggling, it's hard for me. it is a secret that i want you all to know. i'm not a kind person that you thought.

it is better if cellphone is never be created. there is no particular waiting on call and text. writing a letter, how much of people can do for others? conveniency has replaced the romance. isn't that heartful to receive letters from family, friends and lover?

skill to communicate.. it's good if i can master it one day later. first to do, not to tease friends.
i must learn to praise with a good observation.

well.. just to express myself..

Quote for today

You don't choose your family.
They are God's gift to you,
as you are to them.

Desmond Tutu~

need you now

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.

Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.

Oh whoa
Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
Well I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.

i'm bad..

i don't know why i would treat someone like this. i am kind of stubborn and aggressive whenever facing a trouble like this. honestly, i hate it too. i have isolate and shun you from entering my world. i understand that no one is perfect in this world, however i find that it is hard for me to pretend. i could be hypocritical expert, but i couldn't avoid the feelings which pop up unintentionally. i tend to be friend and hang out with you, but it fails.

i thought of telling why i am shutting you down, but it is hard for me to speak out. firstly, please speak out what you need. i am not the worm in your stomach, thus i won't always get to know what you need. secondly, although you could ask for my help, sometimes just not to be too over my limits. for example, i'm not a 24hrs transport officer. if you need transport from other please inform the person by yourself, not through me. i'm not ought to be your subordinate. third, please show some grateful and maybe a bit of thankful whenever i lend you a hand. because people are the same. we may like some appreciation after a help. it may not to be a great appreciation, but at least.. let me hear the word 'thanks'..

i know you work hard and pretend hard in guard in friendship. but it doesn't work in that way. it may scare us and hurt yourself even deeper. i am a bad person. i could not make up a promise like yc does for you. what i could say is just be stronger and take care. i'm sorry for hurting you. just let me be the selfish one. leave me, you'll be better and happier.