release from hatred

It is lucky for me to be awaken from the past. Not all things can be placed back at the beginning. Yeah, I have been looking at your timeline again. Reading through all the posts on your wall. Realising how both of you being so sweet. You are protecting well of her and I'm sure that your family do bless for your relationship. I see mature and yet sweet connection on both of you. Perhaps, I should greet you and tell you how much I am glad to see you being happy and be loved. However, it is better for me not to interrupt your life. It is fine for me if I can just watch you like that. :)

To be revived from the shade, I will try my best. Actually you will never be the reason for my failure to get a partner. I am not outgoing as well, that is the reason why. I will keep on looking on both of you and bless for you. Never consider of what the purpose, I feel finer to be like that. Forgiving. I may not appear in front of you purposely, However, my blessing will not be the less. :) All the best and stay sweet :)

Worrying about finding jobs. Think of going back to work at Senyum Mart. I just wonder they need me or not. Haha. If the retailer jobs spoiled, maybe I will get a call for Senyum Mart. :) The nearest and easiest job ever appear in Jelutong area. Good luck Saw Mey <3 p="">

Thanks for being my friend

I had spent a day in the most regretful way. Repented to reject my coursemates' invitation. They had came so far to Penang and hoped for a wonderful trip, but I gave them disappearance. I had no reason or even an excuse to explain my broken promise. I knew I would able to join them if I really wished to. In fact, I didn't understand the reason why. It seemed like I was repeating the same incident and I was a fail person from the beginning. A disappointing friend. Fond of disappointing people around me. I kept on avoiding things which happened the other way. How would I improve myself if I kept evading the things and people?

For once, Kim Liu asked me to top up my handphone. She said if I kept refusing to reload and replying people's messages, I would be hated by people. I pretended to ignore the sentences, but I knew it stroke my mind and I felt ashamed suddenly. The words used were not harsh but I was trying to reject and plead for myself. However, the alibi was not strong itself, then I used to avoid the topic again. I was clear with my pernicious habit, I knew, and I apologized to all of you. I couldn't face my problem easily. I was a damn ego lady, I could not put off my pride and accept the fact.

Occasionally, I was good in making friends. I gave cares and ears to listen and embrace my friends. In between, I forgot them, I did not know to protect and appreciate my friends. A half-hearted effort. There would be shame for me to be a friend. I knew. You had gave up on me. I could feel your tone, your glance and your gesture. I felt your frustration and disappointment. I would not beg for a return. Perhaps, I would compensate your sadness in surprise. I hoped it would not be late. Pray hard for it. Do it. Saw Mey, Don't make people sad. :(

good morning

it is a fine morning.. woke up and get ready to sushi bonanza with kim liu and wei jun :D

trying to act sexy.. but seems to fail.. haha.. anyway good morning :D

说好话

我是一 个佛教徒。佛教最基本的道就是因果。我自小就相信因果的存在，只是没有认真去探索。虽然如此，我却体验过即时的因果。就拿我平日的言行举止来说。我有一个爱说是非的坏德性，因此常常毫不择言地批评身边的朋友。我取笑我的朋友胖，结果我连续胖了12个年头。我说我朋友的眼袋大得像金鱼肚，结果我的眼袋长得比我的眼睛大。这是一种即时的业报。我还口不择言地讽嘲我朋友的身高，或许下辈子我会是个矮子。其实我是个能悟道理的人，但却不是个很好的执行者。惯性依旧，难以脱身。因此我立志：说好话，吐莲花，不说他人背后话，不损别人清白，做好自己，改造人生。
我是个高昂的女生，我不能忍受朋友在群人中损我。但相反地我却常常出口伤人，面子也不留地伤害身边的朋友。这就难怪没有多少朋友受得住我的脾性。我不希望成为朋友的茶后话题，所以我必须改变。我要大家都喜欢我，大家都愿意细心聆听我说话，所以我得改善口德。多说些让人开心的话，少说让人心烦的话。让人开心，我也开心。加油哦！ :)

I feel nervous

Anxiety has suffocated me. Honestly, I feel tension every time I am to plan a certain event. Last year Kundasang trip was my first try and I could not fit well with the situation. Now, I'm organising a trip for my parent and friends, I start to feel stress. Perhaps, I am afraid to bear responsibility on my own. I know I can do it but I always hesitate on my decision. For million times I try to convince myself that it will be an enjoyable vacation but still, I'm too dependent on my brother. I should be more mature in handling every occasion. I have pushed myself very hard. I wish I can be like Ah Jun them where they never show hesitation to others. I want to be decisive. I will be grown up. Kah yao!!!

忧郁的来源

这是我身为朋友的失败。我以为我会让你满意的，因为我是真心为你想的。或许我小气或许我真的一点小事都做不好。 我不希望我的真诚会换来不停的责备和埋怨。说真的，如果我真的不上心的事，我根本不会去理、更不会去花时间。我听到那些埋怨其实我的确满难过的。我不会再去为谁去做那些所谓的生日礼物或惊喜了。我没有那个本事也没有那种心思了，心灰了。面子书换上不是我的生日，希望大家也把我的生日忘了吧。既然我不干了就不会期望你们对我付出。再一次证明我的失败。站起来？不了。累死人了！

偶尔的寂寞

长大了，终于可以恋爱了，但是春天却不回来。朋友一个个开始恋爱，依赖，然后互相缠绵。我羡慕但是我无法改变。就因为偶尔的孤独、偶尔的伤心无法找到靠岸，我想恋爱。但是我不想爱得那么卑微随便，毕竟我不是年少轻狂了。最近看见前男友的消息，一家去了香港游玩。看着他，我突然很陌生。曾经他是我唯一的靠岸，也是我最亲密的人。如今，他换了电讯，也完全失联。很怀疑，自己真的跟他很熟悉过吗？

忙着忙着。。我把电话放在一旁，面子书一天上一趟。。我真的寂寞了。。我也希望能够有人陪我吃饭，上学。一起读书奋斗， 但是上哪儿找？我找得好累，是我把他设为底线了吗？还是我高估了他，一直把他设为假象目标。我该醒了吗？（ˇ＾ˇ）希望寂寞的感觉快点过去，其实单身也很有趣。加油哦！:D