Thanks for being my friend

I had spent a day in the most regretful way. Repented to reject my coursemates' invitation. They had came so far to Penang and hoped for a wonderful trip, but I gave them disappearance. I had no reason or even an excuse to explain my broken promise. I knew I would able to join them if I really wished to. In fact, I didn't understand the reason why. It seemed like I was repeating the same incident and I was a fail person from the beginning. A disappointing friend. Fond of disappointing people around me. I kept on avoiding things which happened the other way. How would I improve myself if I kept evading the things and people?

For once, Kim Liu asked me to top up my handphone. She said if I kept refusing to reload and replying people's messages, I would be hated by people. I pretended to ignore the sentences, but I knew it stroke my mind and I felt ashamed suddenly. The words used were not harsh but I was trying to reject and plead for myself. However, the alibi was not strong itself, then I used to avoid the topic again. I was clear with my pernicious habit, I knew, and I apologized to all of you. I couldn't face my problem easily. I was a damn ego lady, I could not put off my pride and accept the fact.

Occasionally, I was good in making friends. I gave cares and ears to listen and embrace my friends. In between, I forgot them, I did not know to protect and appreciate my friends. A half-hearted effort. There would be shame for me to be a friend. I knew. You had gave up on me. I could feel your tone, your glance and your gesture. I felt your frustration and disappointment. I would not beg for a return. Perhaps, I would compensate your sadness in surprise. I hoped it would not be late. Pray hard for it. Do it. Saw Mey, Don't make people sad. :(