Grilled life

So ya, i wanna post a new article about myself. I had started a part time job as a tuition teacher since last month. I was nervous to death during the first week. However everything just turned up getting smoother that i would ever imagine. Honestly, this experience just made me so against to have my own child in future. To deliver, to raise, to care and ensure their future is a long and stony journey. I prefer to play with my siblings' children (i really wish them to have xD) i saw some of the tuitors being so tame to their students while the other so strict to them. I think im just betwen the two lines. I hope i would be the latter one. 

So as work being added to my uni life, i have conflict dealing with my academics and money. Haha.. However, i just think it as a good training to undergo what others don't. My background doesn't support me with strong financial status, so i decided to make my own. Sadly, my academics wasn't excellent to qualify me any scholarship, so i had to stay upstill. My brother has once criticised me for being a burden for my family. I cried so hard and it really motivated me to keep moving on nowadays. Never regret for doing mistakes, just care what to make a better solution.  

Last friday, i attended dharma class. I shared about a core lesson i learnt from the class, which is the right intention. Knowing why you are taking the decision and always keep in mind why you started it. Being a buddhist is not only believing it but be living it. Learning the buddha taught and practise in life. Buddhist is not just offering to buddha or sangha and you all will be bless. This is what we often misunderstand. Many of us address ourselves as a buddhist because we are chinese. The main purpose we offer buddha is to remind us to his teaching but not acquire his blessing. Buddha is not magic. He doesn't create or destroy, he found the truth. The truth that i always want to realise myself. 

Lastly, i found a junior who has the same style as lin aun. He made me remember all those forgotten memories just in an eye contact. I realise that i have never forget those and will never be forgotten. However, i know i really could control my mind now. Knowing that impermanent is the only permanent thing in this world. I thought i wouldn't live for single once ago, but now, i would prefer to stay single and spend on my earned money. To travel to stay or to leave only depend on my own. My mind is changing and i don't know how would i end, but sure it won't be regretted again. 

Once again, lastly, all the best :) be happy

My hair finally grows at satisfactory length. :)