Being a part time tutor

It had been a year plus since i started to be a tutor for charity. I remembered when i said i never wanted to become a teacher in my life. I felt that it would be an obstacle that i would never cross over. Now, the idea changed. I love playing the teacher's role. To pass knowledge and build a person's ability. It is so amazing that although my students seldom show appreciation to our efforts, their performance speak much more gratitution to me. I was used to be inconfident with my speech back then, but now, even im stuttering i believe that my speech somehow contains points. I love the internal transformation of myself. Even i spoke in the camp using english, i felt comfortable. Will work harder in sharpening my speech ability. Im blessed. Contented with wisdom. Saddhu saddhu saddhu.

Buddha said: dont look on the pass but work on current life. It is how you will shape your future.

My 23rd birthday

This is the first time i celebrated by staying at home whole day long. Actually it isn't any celebration but i acknowledge that a birthday should be spent with family especially mom. 

I helped my mom to make kuih kapit by making up fire using charcoal, flipping the tools, folding the kuih kapit and finished them at 5.30pm. I felt changes on me, i never put my parents' need so significant back then.

Even the small incident happened yesterday night was incredibly not my style. To be honest, i was not really hold on to my assumed appreciation to someone. The person was shocked and feeling weird receiving "confession" from me. However i enjoyed the conversation, i had never been so fine before.

Now, it is time to end my birthday. I wish i will be blessed and be a better person in life. In search of peaceful and happiness. Saddhu saddhu saddhu...

Back from dhamma camp

This was the first time i joined an english based dhamma camp.

Although it was hard for me to pick up at the beginning, it did leave great inspiration on me.

The past, what I learnt were theory
Now,
I might relate it in my daily life.
I start to recognise.

At the sense that when I know how the life works,

I feel no more fear.

Right understand how impermanence works and how should i deal with it.

The thing is that the things are not scary or abnormal,

it is just how our thought create the fear.

After getting through this camp,

I was like awakened from some problems that troubled me for so long.

I felt relieved, calm and peaceful.

Then I was passionate to get back home and share to my parents.

The sentence I like the most throughout this camp was

"How people treat you is their karma, how you respond is your karma"

Perhaps it sounds heavy or urging but it did make me think and think deeply in my mind.

So when I get back home tonight, 

I was trying the right time to talk to my parents.

You know,

sometimes we do things without knowing why we are doing.

I asked my parents:

"what is buddhism to you?"

Surprising that my dad questioned me back "what is religion?"

it made me realise that,

We might spend half of our lifetime serving or doing without having right understanding and intention. It's sarcastic.

So I continued to share my experience and my thoughts throughout the camp.

I started something I never tried with my parents before.

Sharing.

It is a wonderful thing to share, 

but most of the time we tend to ignore it.

This was also the first time I astonished my mom.

I really hope that my parent would really start a nice improvement with me.

We can grow together and feel peaceful, harmless and happiness.

May us never be separated from the Buddha's teaching and live wisefully.

Sadhu sadhu sadhu.

The first ever peaceful mind I ever had. :)

I'm blessed.

Course arrangement

A week ago, I found out that there were changes regarding the courses offered in coming semesters.

So I tried to number and rearrange the courses left to be taken.

Surprisingly, I managed to squeeze them into 2 semesters perfectly.

The only pity is that I might not take FYP so that I can passed all my majors as planned.

Sincerely hope that the time table doesn't clash so that I could graduate a semester earlier.

Pray ~

Oh ya.. I applied for aerobics as my ko-k next semester. 

I hope everything will be going smooth.

Pray hardddddd~~~~

Looking forward, great!

Finally, I have came so far.
It was the 5th semester for my university life.
Although I am paper-written as 2nd year student,
I always concern that I am much more better than that.
And yet, finally, it is the time for me to send my CV and resume.
Looking at my transcript,
I am feeling "Oh my god! What the hell with my result?"
The grade Cucumber credits for physical chemistry making itself too obvious on my paper.
Haha..
Anyway, while looking at my activity achievement,
I feel much more comfortable.
At least, I didn't spend my university life wastefully.
Completed 3 CV and resumes to be sent out this coming Monday.
Feeling excited.
Can I feel some luck from you? haha :D

Ended my 3rd semester in USM.
Feeling 10 years living here.
reason? simple.
I have much more responsibilities to bear on my shoulders and you know time pass slowest when the hard time is haunting.
After year by year,
money is still controlling my mind.
There is non a minute I am not thinking to earn it.
Haha..
Money slave. Sad case.
However, I could spend it my way now.
Feeling proud earning during school life.
this is how i feel i'm different from others.
the small satisfaction that is so precious to me :D

In this 5years,
I had joined events by direct sales, insurance, forex and even money game company.
However,
non of it I made a first step to create my own 'business'.
I know many of you feel lousy on my explanation.
The fact is: I'm not feeling good in introducing products and set up a complicated  social network.
If someone asks me about my expectation on my future career,
I would prefer to stay in my own working area, doing my own things.
sometimes I can present my work to others.
this match what I could get from continuing in laboratory work.
Exclude from the head-spinning relationship and doing my favourite works :)
Afraid to take risk.
Being a non-profitable person to a family was already a headache,
why creates problem?
maybe i would not be like very rich and live in luxury in future.
i chose my path and at least i wont die because of poverty.
Back then i'm not sure, but now i'm clear,
because i find to be more understanding myself.
And i love myself more nowadays. <3 p="">
Finally, I hope my application would be taken care of. Y(^.^)Y
All the best yo!!