kind of blue

every man is selfish. perhaps, i had overestimated your qualities, you are a cheap guy. you never think for me, you are selfish and cheap. i hate you! well,hope that you this cheap guy wont hurt the girl who loves you right now. cheap jing! i will never wish to see you again. you give me die far far de.. haha! my work are smooth right now n i hope it will be like that till i go for studies :) i will miss chun yik n shi ying after they left the job.. lonely :( shi min.. i miss u so much.. i wish to have pillow talk with you :)p

finally

finally, you got your new partner.
well, it was quite disappointed when i first knew it. however, i was happy that you found your love.
i was so sure that she was a nice lady so that you will fall for her :)
and you two will get well together perfectly even though i did not know how she were or how she look.
but sure, she was a gorgeous lady.

i will never try to find out who was she, i'm fine when know you are in happiness.
all the best to you :)
and of course for saw mey too ~:)

untitled

there was a young girl worked together with me.
she asked me a random question.
"did you ever fall for someone?"
as in your thought, the girl had not date with any boy YET..
it reminded me a lot of things.
then she continued,
"why did you break up with him?"
it was a difficult question for me because i could not explain it.
"maybe he did not love me the way i thought couple should be," i answered.
haha.. perhaps, the answer wasn't look right, she did not understand.
anyway, the topic was ended like that.

there was a night, my friend phoned me and told me about relationship problem whch she was facing.
it was so typically dramatic story.
why life became so miserable since we left school?
every simple thing wasn't simple anymore.
adult life is not interesting at all.

if.. i ever get in a relationship again,
i will never ever let him go like i did.
because it is hard to find a man who i will fall terribly again..

stray out of love topic, i would like to talk about my academics.
i had applied hong leong scholarship, the only scholarship i had applied.
i hope that i will get the offer :)

love saw mey

untitle

sometimes i just feel that i have been isolated from friends.
i just get nothing related with some of the outings.
anyway, i must carry out my life too, right? :)

btw, i felt so sorry to kim liu that i had put her plane on the plan of breakfast together.
i'm sorry, i know you are seriously angry with my action. really sorry. sorry for decline at last minute...

i now work at senyum mart, as a cashier.
my supervisor thought that i was a vietnamese so he did not dare to talk with me at the beginning. :)
one of the customers thought that i was came from china, so he just kept smiling with me.
then when he knew that i was actually a malaysian, he said he liked me because ' kamu senyum kuat' :) haha..
since i worked there, many kids called me aunty, i was quite hurt leh TT..
then an aunty came and called me 'ah yi' too.
sad leh..
so i must do save my outlook!!!

today i off, i went to look for other jobs again with tiara.
we had interviewed 2 daycare teacher jobs.
yup..
i know if my friends knew this, they would sure criticise about my attitude towards working.
no matter how others comment about me, i just have to do anything i think i should and i'm happy with the decision. right?
actually, i did hope that one of them would give me a call. perhaps?
then we departed to perangin mall.
as today was wednesday, i watched 'mirror mirror' alone at 1st avenue for only rm7 :)!
i liked the movie so much!
snow white was pretty and the dialogue was funny :)
the step mother was also pretty and cute!
the dwarfs made me laughed a lot. hahahaha..
i spent my off day happily :)

all the best,
SawMey letitia

Day care life

time to talk about my daycare job.

her name is yvone. i like her the most. so bad that she did not smile while i was trying to capture her photo. she was cute and she was the first child that hug me :)

his name is lim len. he is a half japanese :)

he is cute and chubby. he is just three years old and he knows how to write daddy and mommy in chinese. he has a big head which is same as i. haha :)

i kinda like his cousin too. unfortunately that i cant take his cousin's photo.

i only remember his name and his face. lim yi qi. i call him qiqi XD

the first girl is lim ming yao, who is already standard1. she is so naughty that i almost smack her every day since i work. although this is how i act but they still nice to me la :)

the other girl is my most lovely girl in my class. her name is sim ming xuan. she has a pair of long eyelash, i cant stop staring at her. i'm so desperate to hug her :) yeah~ i'm so bian tai.. haha..

however ming xuan is quite naughty too when she is with ming yao.. they are best friends who from different school.

this was how they acted when i asked them to take photos.

see? ming xuan is so cute!

they also have one friend who is same age with them named zeo.

he is very obedient and also a fast-learner. what a cute and handsome guy.

i wanted to take his photo too, but i think it would be quite awkward for me to do that :(

after telling the fun part, now is the horror part TT

i love morning session because the children are younger and easier to handle.

when the afternoon session come, my head just being went off.

it is like killing my mentality slowly.

the first disaster is desmond neoh who likes to cheat and does not concentrate well at all.

next is the 2 little flowers, the nieces of my headmistress. they are ooi shanyan and ooi shanyin.

shanyin causes me a lot of frustration because she is lazy and likes to be rebellion. her languages are very weak and she is a monitor, i wonder how her teacher 'discover' her quality in leadership. she only knows how to copies answer and acts like very 'gaogao'. shanyan is the elder but she is easily to attempt anger. sometimes, she just got in temper when i ask her to go bath. she should learn to act upon her age. however, she is quite okay to self-discipline. at least she will finish her homeworks on her own.

next is the 3 'musketeers' who are named ooi zhi sheng, ooi zhi jie and ooi zi siang(the latter 2 is twin).they always cannot finish their work on time and zi siang is the one who bring the most trouble for me.no matter how i cane him or scolded him, he just won't move. he likes to be rebellious toward me.

anthony is the brother of yvone who i love the most. he is a trouble kid too. he poured his friends shampoos just because he wanted to. luckily he would not be here anymore when april is approached.

the other children are jordon, florence, wei liang, hui yin and sim zhen teng(bro of ming xuan, he is a good boy too)

i wish to resign again because i am working 11hours per weekday and have to work on saturday too. my salary is just rm900. other than that, i 'm going to travel to sunway lagoon on this coming thursday. i want to resign and apply for ns!

i hate to work. i know i'm not try hard while working, i'm so lazy, probably i just not suit to the life i have now.

i'm trying to make myself comfortable, don't care about how other tease about me.

Saw Mey, be couraged and tough, fight for yourself! must resign! try to talk with jess. i'm working but not buying money with life.

gambatae :)

Random

I had replaced my first choice from pharmacy to dentistry.
There was no specific reason why i changed it, i just willed it to be like that.
Besides that i had 'halfly' applied radiography in mahsa.
Every decision i made was quite surprisingly.
i hoped that i would the best choice for me :)

Yesterday i went to work as promoter suddenly after ping wei phoned me.
i went to Gama and represented F&N Fruit Tree to sell their drinks.
i started my work at 4.30pm and ping wei promised to pay me tonight which was RM80.
No people was there to help me.
i had to find my own booth and bought ices from coffee shop.
well, nice experience.
i had sold out 20bottles of the drinks, i was satisfied :)
actually, i had promised the supervisor that i would work for today too.
unfortunately, i had fallen into sick. i had sore throat and sneezing.
then i called zhi mei, she phoned me back using house line.
she advised me not to take the job anymore because the ping wei still owed them money.
i got worried and told ping wei that i was not able to work.
i had asked him to pay for me.
then he had ignored my request until now..
i was quite worried.
Anyway, if he wanted to owe me my money, he was going to repay me back in double in my next life :)
besides that i also had owed mei xue and khai hung. because i could not find people to capture photos for me, so i asked them to take for me.
manatau..
the Gama's storeroom had to close at 9.30pm
i had to pack up my things earlier and they were not able to capture photos for me.
they had rushed from their friend's birthday bbq then nothing were done.
i felt so sorry because the bbq was at tanjong tokong.
no one could help me, 'helpless' explained my feelings.
i swore i would never ever accept promoter job again.
salary payment was not assured and i had to be very very independent and observant enough to find out the problems and resolve them in short time.
i hope that he would pay for my work.
because i did work hard for it.

today i went to pisa education fair with Tiara and her mom.
her mom was a nice person and also a very 'mother type' person.
i had a nice day with them.
she even treated me lunch, and having jokes with me.
haha..

recently i thought of having a christian name (though i'm not a christian)
and i found this one: Yiliss..
it doesn't spell like christian name, so i like it :)
well, the reason is weird, i admit it! XD
if i had to use nickname during work or study in future, i think i'll use it..
just think la.. haha :)

All the best ya :)
Saw Mey

i will be-leona lewis

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

I know I let you down but it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything okay

I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe 'cause you're here with me

And if I let you down, I'll turn it all around
'Cause I would never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/l/leona-lewis-lyrics/i-will-be-lyrics.html ]
And all my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything okay

Without you I can't breathe
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I got, you're all I want, oh
'Cause without you I don't know what I'd do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, do you see you're all I need?

And I will be, all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything okay

I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything okay

Change my mind

I know I can't apply for Ukm pharmacy already.

I don't want to waste my other chances, so I need to do more research.

Kah Yao :)

get to see this :)

STAGE 4 (1 year or more): The Long Road
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years, huh? This person truly means something to you. You are “in love” with this person. He/she made a difference in your life. No one else knows you more than this person. You guys have been through the good, the bad, and the ugly, and still strive to make it last.

*If your relationship ends in this stage — You feel heartbroken; it’s tough. You can’t sleep, can’t eat, you miss him/her, you try to move on, you try meeting new people, but seems like nothing works. For whatever reason the split occured, it must’ve been something important, or something must have been so wrong that it took over. Being “just friends” is impossible, because if you tried to be friends, you wouldn’t be able to think of them in any other way besides the one you once “loved.”

p/s: keep telling myself, it is just a phase i have to face and go through. keep releasing, i will be better. there is no point to act strong in front of myself =] be happy is the utmost important.

Saw Mey <3

I don't know why I spoil my own plan

I don't know what to do to get out from the grey zone.

I feel myself drowning, no one is around to pick me up.

I know I should not become a burden to anyone.

I have caused a lot of trouble for you since we together.

I have to pay for what I have done.

I will never ever chase after a guy anymore.

Never ever even I have to be alone till I die.

I don't know how to love a person, I don't know how to protect myself if he leaves me.

I don't have the idea how to feel happiness without him.

Why am I so stupid?

He has mentioned clearly that we just friend, either best or normal but never cross the line.

So what am I demanding things from him?

Why don't I control my mind?

Why don't I hate him and destroy him?

Why am I sad for something isn't worth?

Why?

Why I always blame on him but never success to transform myself?

Why?

I'm not stupid, but I act stupidly.

Stupid for asking stupid question.

I shouldn't let him to know what I feel, I should have my own pride.

I'm a girl that begging for love, a girl who is too discrete to be loved.

I know I'm not deserved love from him anymore.

I can't let go of you because I'm jailed in my memory with you.

Do I need years so that i will not to love you anymore?

I'm so damn Beh nyong..

I have found that I'm very selfish because every sentence contain 'I'..

That's why I could not hold my live stay long.

How to be optimistic?

I don't know, let the god be the master of my fate.

I got tired with life..