I don't know why I spoil my own plan

I don't know what to do to get out from the grey zone.

I feel myself drowning, no one is around to pick me up.

I know I should not become a burden to anyone.

I have caused a lot of trouble for you since we together.

I have to pay for what I have done.

I will never ever chase after a guy anymore.

Never ever even I have to be alone till I die.

I don't know how to love a person, I don't know how to protect myself if he leaves me.

I don't have the idea how to feel happiness without him.

Why am I so stupid?

He has mentioned clearly that we just friend, either best or normal but never cross the line.

So what am I demanding things from him?

Why don't I control my mind?

Why don't I hate him and destroy him?

Why am I sad for something isn't worth?

Why?

Why I always blame on him but never success to transform myself?

Why?

I'm not stupid, but I act stupidly.

Stupid for asking stupid question.

I shouldn't let him to know what I feel, I should have my own pride.

I'm a girl that begging for love, a girl who is too discrete to be loved.

I know I'm not deserved love from him anymore.

I can't let go of you because I'm jailed in my memory with you.

Do I need years so that i will not to love you anymore?

I'm so damn Beh nyong..

I have found that I'm very selfish because every sentence contain 'I'..

That's why I could not hold my live stay long.

How to be optimistic?

I don't know, let the god be the master of my fate.

I got tired with life..