自论

是不是男生在第二段感情才会珍惜并且光荣地大事炫耀？我觉得无奈中也有少许的挫折感。以前，你从来不会主动在面子书来往，但你做到了。你现在显得更珍惜她。或许我应该放下，但我始终会不甘心。我已不爱你了，但我很怀念那感觉。或许我不会再找到一个我可痴可狂的人了，但我真的希望会找到。这次，我只想去爱，不用担心一些遥远的未来。我很想陷入爱，但我失去了憧憬的能力。有人说我很奇怪，思想总是有点现实。我知道男人的话只有七十分是真话，所以我相信世界一直在变，根本没有永远的传说。我是个没有童话和小说的女孩，你会嫌弃我吗？我知道我要的是个怎么样的男生，我很努力地在寻找。如果我找不到，那我不结婚好了。为了年纪结婚，没有意义。我情愿自己过自己。当然，我不希望我最后得如此。我只能把自己交给命运，保佑我哦！ xD

doomed week

i had some unhappy incidents happened during my weekend. my group assignment was only 9 marks out of 15. by the time, my mind was just blanked out. i was so sad and worried. after knowing the result, we were doing on out doing on our presentation and it meant us another 15marks, but we did not prepare well for that. I was so frustrated and unhappy during that time. I never expect that everything messed up and ended like this. mei xue was right, we must change our own attitudes. There was nuseless to be clever and good in study only. Attitudes were the utmost important elements in life. He taught us a valuable lesson. I would never forget this. yeesterday i went to christmas party and i felt that my coursemates were having tight bonds within them. I felt indifferent among them, especially when they get to forget my presence easily. i was not a part of them Even mei xue mix well with them, i dont feel the same. Perhaps, we are from the different frequency. I could not continuously to be such outspoken and polite all the time. I need to find a diiferent type. Today i made tang yuan with them, i get ignored in some ways too. i felt a bit hypocritic with them and that is not me. i miss my highschool friends. i miss home. there will be another 25days. Saw Mey, jia you in final! survive! change attitudes in next sem :)

The final week of lecture

This is the final lecture's week.

This does mean that my first semester in UMS is going to end.

Excited?

No, instead I have no special feelings about it,

 except knowing that i will be home soon.

I wish that I will be as active as I thought,

however,

I give up in the process.

I want to quit from PTH.

I feel disappointment when I know that I cannot decide on what I want from them.

I do not feel that I am a part from them.

Indeed, 

I quit because I do not want to be in casting group.

If it is preferable, 

I hope that I can be in the backstage helpers,

perhaps, help to design stage or find sponsorship.

Since, I have no right, I think it is better for me to quit.

I want to learn something that I am interested but not forcing me.

I hate to act~

Yesterday I had my Spanish oral test.

Well,

I think I did well, at least I could understand and answer most of my professor's question.

My last fight will be my final exam. 

I hope that I would not ruin anything.

I wish I could get at least an A.

Actually,

exam in university level is not that hard to score.

However, 

the hardest part is doing all the assignments.

Assignments and reports already marked for 60marks from overall.

So, 

even someone gets high marks in exam,

it doesn't assure that he'll be getting his A.

Especially for people like me.

I did not play serious on my homework.

So it is quite tough for me to depend on my assignments.

Just what the fuck!

Finally, I get my bronze medal from my competition chairman.

Well, honestly to say,

the reward is useless in reality.

A medal without certificate.

What is the usage of getting a medal?

YES!

I am a realistic woman,

I won't like a guy who is in poverty or different skin.

It is the same story,

I won't like the shinny medal that doesn't useful for my future life.

Just give me a cert! WTH..

Last week, things just gone mad.

I'm wondering what to buy before back to Penang.

Hmm..

So unwaited to go Gaya Street on this coming Sunday.

Add oil! Saw Mey!

<3 letitia="letitia" mey="mey" p="p" saw="saw">

Mixture of feelings

Let's start with my good news here in Sabah.

Well, I earned my first glory since my university life started. 

I won myself a bronze in last Saturday Female Fencing Closed Competition 2012.

There were 29 competitors excluding the guys, and I managed to be outstanding among us.

This glory would be an memorable one, as I never expected for it and actually I could win it.

Nothing is impossible! Even someone like me, a person who lack of practices. xD!

I'm gonna show my medal this coming Saturday after the prize giving ceremony. :)

I had involved in the committees for the fencing competition, and I was one of the dt.

I had to learn a bit more from the Engard system and comprehend with my leader.

I think I learnt a lot through out the process even we did not carry on the competition perfectly.

I had learnt a little bit more on to control a circumstance when the leader disappearing of being a leader.

When the other group members abandoned their responsibilities, 

I learnt to pick up the job and tried to complete them in a solution.

My leader supported me and I trusted myself that I could be a leader one day.

It was really get nearer to what I dreamt for.

To be in Sabah, unexpectedly, 

I absorbed and adapted even more than if I were studying in Penang or KL.

I started to build up greater confidence in combating hardship, 

due to no one reached me here to help me.

Recently, there were rumours around our campus saying that there were rape cases happening.

One was after the Bon Odori night and the other one was at my hostel area.

The latter happened when she was filling her bottle at the water machine.

Rumours stated that the girl was raped by our security guard, 

what in my mind was 'yucks!'

They even said that our HEP offered her a first class honour status just to cover the case happened.

How terrify to listen about this.

Our school was not protecting us and giving us our right,

instead,

they tried their best to concealed it just to protect their reputation.

Then how about the girls' reputations?

That was like an invisible scarlet letter for the lady, her own.

I heard that they said the girl tried to commit suicide in few days ago,

the incident was too cruel and miserable to her.

However,

she failed to take off her own life.

I wondered how her family would be?

My daughter was put on a crime like this and suffered all the consequences by herself.

The rapist should be the one receive the punishment and humiliation!

Not fair at all!

I just think,

if I were in the same situation,

I would not be couraged to continue my life with that horrible memory.

God bless the victims.

Currently,

I'm in worries almost everyday.

Worrying about the assignments that still haven't started, not even an alphabet.   

Anyway,

I just left 36days here.

Sem1 will be ended soon.

I just can't wait for it.

Wait for the flight day to depart!

Before that, 

Saw Mey gambatae! :p

Saw Mey Letitia<3 p="p">

I need positive energy

Well, there were a lot of unhappy incidents happened within past two weeks.

I lied to one of my coursemate and ended up wound on both of us.

Honestly, I was so sad and fed up in this incident and I could not deny that I was responsible for that.

I surged into misery by the day we turned up each other.

I wondered how we were going to work together on the fencing competition. 

So sucks!

I was feeling so bad.

Anyway, let's talked about something interesting of my past two weeks. :)

The first thing was fighting for the MY FM concert ticket!

So unbelievable that they are going to held a concert in our campus hall. 

Wao! That's amazing!

Mei Xue and I were craving for the tickets while we were unable to purchase that.

So nice that our coursemates kept 2 tickets for us and we had the chance to go for the event!

Secondly, I went to spared at the Fencing Centre at Likas, Sabah.

It was a fresh try out and I enjoyed the night a lot!

The first time I get on the fencing coat and fight with a foil.

Really different and exciting even I was not really excellent in that. xD

Next was the Bon Odori held on last Saturday night at Dataran Dewan Canselor.

Even though there were not much stalls set up,

I was enjoyed for the day :)

There was a variety of Japanese cuisine stalls and Sushi King was included!

It had been 2 months I hadn't tasted it.

So excited that I could enjoy to the max.

Hahaha!!!

Then I had joined the Nestle Breakfast Hunt on the Sunday morning.

I was the one who called on the event again :)

We woke up at 5am morning and got our free Maggi, Milo and Nescafe breakfast. :)

It was at the Dataran Padang Kawad which was just near to my hostel.

Ptiy that Li Chuen had to walk so far to get to there :D

My group is made up from Mei Xue, Li Chuen, Shu Teng (housemate), Yoke Mun(coursemate) and I :)

It was so challenging that we had to run almost 6km up and down the hill in 2hours time :)

To find clues along the roads, Haha!!

At the end, 

we did not won any victory,

but we received a goodies bag and enjoyed a good day :)

It was fun to be active when no one asked you to :)

My Spanish Mid-term had came out, 

I got 18.1 out of 20 marks.

Hahaha!!

Sorry that I had not reply all of the mails from you all,

I got a lot of assignments and reports to pass up these few weeks and the coming two weeks.

So tired of that.

Additionally, my celcom broadband was malfunctioned right now.

I guessed I would cut off it if they did not fix it as soon as possible.

Haha..

Finally, RM1000 is coming. 

Haha!!

Tiara please don't jealous!! Wahahahaha!!