Random

I had replaced my first choice from pharmacy to dentistry.
There was no specific reason why i changed it, i just willed it to be like that.
Besides that i had 'halfly' applied radiography in mahsa.
Every decision i made was quite surprisingly.
i hoped that i would the best choice for me :)

Yesterday i went to work as promoter suddenly after ping wei phoned me.
i went to Gama and represented F&N Fruit Tree to sell their drinks.
i started my work at 4.30pm and ping wei promised to pay me tonight which was RM80.
No people was there to help me.
i had to find my own booth and bought ices from coffee shop.
well, nice experience.
i had sold out 20bottles of the drinks, i was satisfied :)
actually, i had promised the supervisor that i would work for today too.
unfortunately, i had fallen into sick. i had sore throat and sneezing.
then i called zhi mei, she phoned me back using house line.
she advised me not to take the job anymore because the ping wei still owed them money.
i got worried and told ping wei that i was not able to work.
i had asked him to pay for me.
then he had ignored my request until now..
i was quite worried.
Anyway, if he wanted to owe me my money, he was going to repay me back in double in my next life :)
besides that i also had owed mei xue and khai hung. because i could not find people to capture photos for me, so i asked them to take for me.
manatau..
the Gama's storeroom had to close at 9.30pm
i had to pack up my things earlier and they were not able to capture photos for me.
they had rushed from their friend's birthday bbq then nothing were done.
i felt so sorry because the bbq was at tanjong tokong.
no one could help me, 'helpless' explained my feelings.
i swore i would never ever accept promoter job again.
salary payment was not assured and i had to be very very independent and observant enough to find out the problems and resolve them in short time.
i hope that he would pay for my work.
because i did work hard for it.

today i went to pisa education fair with Tiara and her mom.
her mom was a nice person and also a very 'mother type' person.
i had a nice day with them.
she even treated me lunch, and having jokes with me.
haha..

recently i thought of having a christian name (though i'm not a christian)
and i found this one: Yiliss..
it doesn't spell like christian name, so i like it :)
well, the reason is weird, i admit it! XD
if i had to use nickname during work or study in future, i think i'll use it..
just think la.. haha :)

All the best ya :)
Saw Mey

i will be-leona lewis

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

I know I let you down but it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything okay

I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe 'cause you're here with me

And if I let you down, I'll turn it all around
'Cause I would never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/l/leona-lewis-lyrics/i-will-be-lyrics.html ]
And all my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything okay

Without you I can't breathe
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I got, you're all I want, oh
'Cause without you I don't know what I'd do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, do you see you're all I need?

And I will be, all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything okay

I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything okay

Change my mind

I know I can't apply for Ukm pharmacy already.

I don't want to waste my other chances, so I need to do more research.

Kah Yao :)

get to see this :)

STAGE 4 (1 year or more): The Long Road
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years, huh? This person truly means something to you. You are “in love” with this person. He/she made a difference in your life. No one else knows you more than this person. You guys have been through the good, the bad, and the ugly, and still strive to make it last.

*If your relationship ends in this stage — You feel heartbroken; it’s tough. You can’t sleep, can’t eat, you miss him/her, you try to move on, you try meeting new people, but seems like nothing works. For whatever reason the split occured, it must’ve been something important, or something must have been so wrong that it took over. Being “just friends” is impossible, because if you tried to be friends, you wouldn’t be able to think of them in any other way besides the one you once “loved.”

p/s: keep telling myself, it is just a phase i have to face and go through. keep releasing, i will be better. there is no point to act strong in front of myself =] be happy is the utmost important.

Saw Mey <3

I don't know why I spoil my own plan

I don't know what to do to get out from the grey zone.

I feel myself drowning, no one is around to pick me up.

I know I should not become a burden to anyone.

I have caused a lot of trouble for you since we together.

I have to pay for what I have done.

I will never ever chase after a guy anymore.

Never ever even I have to be alone till I die.

I don't know how to love a person, I don't know how to protect myself if he leaves me.

I don't have the idea how to feel happiness without him.

Why am I so stupid?

He has mentioned clearly that we just friend, either best or normal but never cross the line.

So what am I demanding things from him?

Why don't I control my mind?

Why don't I hate him and destroy him?

Why am I sad for something isn't worth?

Why?

Why I always blame on him but never success to transform myself?

Why?

I'm not stupid, but I act stupidly.

Stupid for asking stupid question.

I shouldn't let him to know what I feel, I should have my own pride.

I'm a girl that begging for love, a girl who is too discrete to be loved.

I know I'm not deserved love from him anymore.

I can't let go of you because I'm jailed in my memory with you.

Do I need years so that i will not to love you anymore?

I'm so damn Beh nyong..

I have found that I'm very selfish because every sentence contain 'I'..

That's why I could not hold my live stay long.

How to be optimistic?

I don't know, let the god be the master of my fate.

I got tired with life..

If you see this, do it

Block me from viewing ur posts after u get ur next girlfriend.

I'm lame but i'm trying to be nice to myself.

I'm afraid it'll hurts me.

低落

我有好长一段时间没有用华文字书写了，生疏了许多。

其实，我现在的情绪不太平稳，因为，我被影响了。

我看见了一些让我无法释怀的面子书评语。

原来我还是那么无可救药，那么卑微。

原来，你和_...

心情很复杂，知道怎么安慰自己却无法接受。

朋友，太沉重了。

我愿意沉默。

只愿没人看见我的弱。

我不可再怨，

因为下辈子，我不愿再让你伤。

放下我的不甘。

上天有好生之德。。

让我与你的怨气就此了结。

我不冤了。。

stpm 2011

i received my result already today.
i get 2As, 1A- and 1B+.
cgpa: 3.75
it was a good result, for me too.
i hope that i can get a place in ukm for pharmacy course.
i will carry on my promises, milk god. :)
i get 3As, i should be very excited.

Kod Mata Pelajaran	Nama Mata Pelajaran	Gred Mata Pelajaran
900	Pengajian Am	A
954	Mathematics T	A
962	Chemistry	A-
964	Biology	B+

cheers, Saw Mey <3

nice day

Today i followed my brother to genting highland.
he went with the purpose of working, so i played on my own.
i bought a ticket of outdoor park, because i would back earlier, never thought of playing too much station.
(so regret that i forgot to capture the photo of my wristband)

i'm waiting for the main door to open. this is the first time i keep photographing.

the first game that i played was antique car.
i liked the trip although it didn't differ with the time i sat few years ago.
because.. i enjoyed it :)

the angle of my photo capturing is not that good :(

the second game was pirate ship that i liked to play whenever the outdoor station was available.
at that time, there were only 11ppl playing the game. only 3 girls.
i was the only person that shouted loudly during the activity.
i felt so happy though ppl around felt curious about me.. hehe
my legs were trembling terribly.. luckily, i was able to stand still after the ride!


Next,i went to play 'go kart' but they didn't allow me to drive because i was carrying a big laptop bag. i had willed so much to play it!
at the end, i had to leave. no luck:(

then i went to play the jumbo.
it shaked too dramastically that i was not dare to let go of the switch after i turned it on.
i enjoyed to be high above the others:)
it let me felt like taking care of the rest that weaker than i.


next station was dinasourland boating.
i sat a little boat with most people from other countries.
i didn't take photo there because i didn't feel like taking out my phone inside the dark.

then i went to play the monorail.
honestly, i didn't know why..
last time, when i was in graduation trip, i hated this kind of game, because i felt it boring.
but i liked the feels now.
the refreshing air was around, every pieces of the view were captured in my eyes.
i didn't know how to express the feelings.
this was the first time i carried my life alone without having the typical loneliness.
at there, i met a couple which came from dubai.
we chatted for a while, and i felt improvement.
eventhough i didn't promoted well our country to them, but at least we had a comfortable conversation,

then i went to play the spinning swing. not much thing to elaborate here so i skipped it..XD

my lunch was marry brown.. ta dang!!

it had been years that i never ate this!

after lunch, i went to play indoor games.. what a courage.. because i only bought for outdoors.
i played bumper car, euro express 2 times, the deers and motion master.
haha.. the first time i did things illegally by my own. hahaha!!


i'm high above the people sitting santa deer(forgotten what ppl named the deers)
i have captured the ship that i always ride when i go genting. it doesn't operate anymore. quite sad, because it had my memories.

after that, i felt guilty for doing so, then i decided to back to outdoor AGAIN.
i played bumper boat twice and i went to play the haunted house at outdoor.
i knew it did not scary at all(the haunted house), but i just got shivered all over my body after i went in the house with the little truck.
i could not withstand the fears that appeared in my mind, so i closed my ears left my eyes to watch.
i told myself that i must! at least overcome it!
a bit disapointed la..
after boating with my bumper boat, i felt that i was phobia when i was in the middle of pool of water. i did not know why, luckily, i still can handle it nicely. :)


at night, my brother;s collegue treated us shabu shabu.. i had a nice dinner with them :)

i hoped that i could get good result tomorrow.
god bless me :)

SawMey <3

Tomorrow

Just now we went to ah yat restaurant to eat abalone..

Then I knew that an abalone can cost up to rm11,000.

What a huge number..

Tomorrow I'm going to genting highland.

Perhaps I chose the best time to come kl,

Because it faded some of my fears toward my Stpm result.

I will enjoy myself tomorrow :)

I'm going to play alone tomorrow,

I hope that I can get to know some people :)

But I hope they'll talk to me first la..

Haha :)

So weird am I..

Enjoy ya~

Saw Mey<3

what about today

today morning my brother asked me to buy breakfast.
as if you still remember..
i was at shah alam right now..
this was the first time i drove my brother's car at here.
haha..
i felt nervous but i did it!
without anyone's accompany.
my brother was surprised because i drove and i parked his car perfectly after the breakfast delivery.
haha :)
for lunch, my aunt had cooked soup for me.
what i had to do was just to cook noodles with the soup.
by the way,i had spent my whole afternoon listened to songs.
"falling for you"

i'm lam-nua-ing in the room..

especially taylor's swift songs..
like "a place in this world"
"teardrops on my guitar", "innocent" and "white horse"..
and of course "the one that gone away" by katy too
i had " the best day" today :)
it was great to spend time alone staying in an aircond room doing what i loved.(of course not always)
haha..

later gonna celebrate my uncle's birthday :)
gonna meet up with my sis again.. cheers! XD~


the background is a bit messy cause i just vacuum the floor and haven't clean them in place they should be XD
bye bye~

Saw Mey<3

the one that got away

this song nice :)